


Textbook 'Sob Story'

by itxokayish



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AML, Abusive Relationships, Actor Hunk, Alternate Universe - High School, Art School, Basically an Arts School, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lotor (Voltron), Dancer Keith (Voltron), Dancer Lotor, Dancer Shiro, Dark Humor, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hurt Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith Loves Ballet, Keith has Cancer, Keith lived in London, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance and Keith are roommates, Leukemia, Lotor is British, Lotor is Kind of a Sweeheart, Lotor is same age as Keith, M/M, Mild Language, Music Producer Pidge, Musician Lance (Voltron), Orphan Keith (Voltron), Principal Allura, School Dances, Sickfic, Teacher Matt, Teacher Shiro, VAA, Voltron Academy of the Arts, lance is a barista, sick keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-06-15 07:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15407952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itxokayish/pseuds/itxokayish
Summary: Keith's life started with his mother dying when giving birth. While his father, a choreographer died in a plane crash after pushing Keith out of his life. That left five year old Keith with an inheritance of millions of dollars that would stay with his father's foundations until he turned fifteen.So he was a millionaire, orphaned, five-year old child, and to make his story really unique, he started with symptoms of leukemia three months after he was put in the system.





	1. /n/ cancer

His life was the textbook definition of 'sob story'.

Keith's life started with his mother dying when giving birth. Ballet was something that ran in his family, and his dad was a choreographer, so soon after his birth, he took off and tried his best to keep as much a distance from Keith as he could. 

He would choreograph in New York, leaving Keith at home with countless nannies, ballet boarding schools, until finally he flew home from a convention in London, only to have his plane crash. That left five year old Keith with an inheritance of millions of dollars that would stay with his father's foundations until he turned fifteen. What topped it all off was that all his relatives had cut themselves from the family when his parents joined the 'dance world'.

But of course, Keith didn't know any of that, that was only for his agent to know, and for Keith to always question.

So he was a millionaire, orphaned, five-year old child, and to make his story really unique, he started with symptoms of leukemia three months after he was put in the system. 

It started with random bruises, then the sweating at night and prolonged fevers around the same time each month. It wasn't until his gums wouldn't stop bleeding that his foster family finally decided that going to the hospital would be a 'good idea'. That's when his aunt finally showed up, when receiving the call that his five-year old nephew might be dying.

She took care of him after that, made sure that he got the right treatments. 

It was surprising that even after all that, Keith refused to stop dancing. His aunt had told him about his mother, how she was a dancer, how his father choreographed, not how much money was to his name, but just enough to make him feel like he knew where he came from. 

So he danced, or tried to when the chemo wasn't too bad, or his hips weren't too sore from the bone marrow biopsies.

It came and went, the cancer. The throwing up was "annoying" as Keith put it. He said that he would be a very good drug dealer because he had so many pills. His aunt didn't question it and blamed the amount of TV Keith could watch because he basically lived in the hospital. 

He remembered the long hours he spent, the months without practice where he would convince himself that just flexing his toes was an excuse for 'training'. It continued like that, night sweats after night sweats, chemo round after chemo round. He remembered going to sleep each night and wondering if it was ever going to end. If he would ever be like the kids on the movies he watched?

Because his life had been being 'sick'. He thought his whole life would be him being 'sick'.

Until finally, when he was eight, a clinical trial he was put in seemed to start working.

He thought his life was turning around, he thought that this meant he could start his life again; that everything would be better. 

Then his aunt dies in a car crash. 

It was like the world was against Keith's happiness. He wasn't sent back to the foster care system though, his social worker said that he had the funds to stay int he hospital. How? Keith didn't ask those types of questions anymore, he was tired of getting hopeful answers. 

He hates hope. He hated how it always let him down. 

So he stayed like that, in the trial, his body slightly getting better. He danced, even though he wasn't supposed to. His social worker would tell him to stop dancing, but he would just ignore her, looking up videos on how to stretch, how to do certain moves.

One day when he was eight, there was a field trip for some school, "Voltron Academy of the Arts" that visited a small theater that was in the radius of  his hospital in New York. He told his social worker he wanted to go see them dance. He learned they were an Arts School, not just dance, but he liked to believe it was just dance. 

Like as if it was special, just special to him. 

So he went to their show, a eight-year-old kid with a beanie, wearing a heavy cardigan and a surgical mask, in a wheelchair went to go watch some ballet. He got many eyes, lots of eyes on him. It was when he finally went out to the real world for the first time in months that he realized the world had blessed him with yet another 'blessing'.

_Being an extremely awkward person._

So he didn't talk much, he just watched. Some of the students looked at him as they exited the stage, going to go greet the audience members, thank them for coming. He couldn't do that; firstly cause he didn't like talking to strangers and second, he couldn't be around that many people without probably getting sick, so he was pushed out of the building by his social worker. 

He was stopped though, by a man who asked him if he liked the show. Keith didn't respond at first, whispering to his social worker that the man needed to sanitize his hands if he was thinking of being near him.  The man laughed as he lathered his hands with the sanitizer that was handed to him and continued talking to Keith. 

He asked him if he liked the show again, Keith nodded this time. He then told him how he was a dancer too, or more that he used to be, wanted to be one. The man gave him a smile and said that their school was in the city for a week doing shows. Keith nodded and said he would watch them at the hospital TV.

Next thing he knew, the man visited his hospital room every day for the next week. He would make Keith smile. He stayed for a couple months. He explained how he was a choreographer at the school, how he wanted to move to London and stay there for a while, how he wanted to take Keith with him. That's when Keith started crying. 

He didn't know if it was from happiness or the fact that he was sad that the man had given him hope. 

Keith refused to believe it for a while. That things were shaping up. He tried not to be excited when his chemo started working, or when his body didn't reject the bone marrow transplant. He tried to convince the man that there was no use in trying to adopt a "dying kid". 

But the man had simply said that, "Keith, you aren't dying anymore."

It was hard for Keith to face that, the fact that for the first time in three years, he was healthy. He hated the feeling. His now adoptive brother, Shiro, called it "happiness". 

Keith said it felt weird. He kept saying it felt weird when the adoption was finally complete and he was dragged all the way across the world to London. It was beautiful. Most of all, it was scary. 

* * *

Shiro trained him, in all styles of dance. He always told Keith he didn't have to be the best, he just had to be happy and most importantly 'healthy'. Keith didn't listen though, he had to be the best. He finally had the chance to do something other than lie in a hospital bed, and he wasn't wasting it on sitting back and watching others surpass him. 

So he went through his life, his auditions into ballet schools. Colds became the scariest things in the planet. Keith learned to love them though, because if he _just_ had the cold, it meant he his cancer hadn't come back. So he danced away. He learned soon enough that he didn't look like the other kids, they were taller, more blonde, more carefree than he was. He was shorter, his hair was black, his skin was light, but his eyes weren't blue, they were more violet.

He tried not to let it bother him, but after a while he started shedding his 'awkwardness' and started building up resent for the kids around them. They were all so happy, complaining about not getting the latest toy from their parents, not having the best tutu, or being forced into classes. 

To him, they didn't realize how lucky they were to even be able to dance. So he stayed away from people, he didn't like talking to them because he would start yelling at them if he did. 

Soon enough, Shiro set up an audition for him to get into a boarding school. Shiro didn't like the idea, but Keith insisted that he let him audition for the 'Royal Ballet School'. He also told Shiro he would be fine and the medical team and staff would be aware of his history, plus all his medical appointments were already all in London. 

So Shiro did it, and Keith got in when he was ten years old. Everyone said he had a natural gift. He knew he at least had talent because he hadn't practiced in so long due to his illness that it had to be 'something' that made him at least scratch the surface at a professional ballet school. The rest was him pushing himself to be the best. Hours of working, dancing, stretching. It all meant something now. 

He came home on the weekends, Shiro living a few blocks from the actual school because he got a job there. He was good, just like Keith. They had a life there, Keith even started making a friend. 

 _Singular_ , because he didn't even try to make even one. It was just an annoying kid who thought Keith was weird and was "too young to care so much about ballet". His name was Lotor, he was a real 'brit'. He talked like one too, used big words that made Keith laugh. He had white hair and his skin was darker than Keith's, tan, while Keith's was like an actual vampire's. 

They got closer, they were good friends. They spent all of their primary years in the Royal Ballet together. When it came time to apply for their eighth year, Keith made it in and so did Lotor. Keith stayed with Lotor starting that last year of primary because Shiro had gone back to California to teach at Voltron Academy. 

It took a lot of convincing, Keith saying his five years of remission were almost done and he would make sure to tell him if anything happened. Shiro had left, begrudgingly, but Keith said that he should do what he loves, just like he was letting Keith do. Lotor's family was nice too. His mother was a doctor, her name was Honerva, and she was from Germany. His dad was never there though, and Lotor said it was because he was a real 'dick who couldn't keep it in his pants'. Keith laughed when he told him that. Keith laughed when he told him that. 

On a better note, Keith was the best in his year. He worked hard enough, he tried hard enough, and he wanted it more than anything in the world. And to make things better, he was getting private lesson from every instructor Shiro could find while he was away.

The spring of their eighth year, Keith was in Lotor's backyard.

They hung out, in Lotor's backyard, during the October break of their eighth year. They danced and Lotor practiced his lifts with Keith cause Keith was light enough. They did it all the time, but that night Keith realized that the universe had fun making Keith stick out more in society than he already was because that night he truly realized,

He was very, very gay. 

It had never really been a question he got to ask himself, not being around many people his whole life, only in a house with his social worker, a hospital room with his nurses, and a school where he ignored everyone but Lotor. But ever since he met Lotor, he started getting this weird feeling that went beyond 'happiness' and more into 'ultra happiness'.

And that night he just kissed Lotor as he lifted him, making Lotor stumble and fall, dropping Keith on top of him. Lotor didn't say anything and at first Keith thought he had screwed everything up, but the boy kissed him back, running his hands through the short hair the boarding school made them maintain. 

Everything was perfect just for that moment, until Keith's nose started bleeding right on Lotor's face. Their smiles had faded and they both looked at each other with wide eyes. Keith quickly got off of him and rushed indoors, heading for the closest bathroom and grabbing a whole roll of toilet paper to stop his nose from bleeding. 

 _"It's just a nosebleed, just a nosebleed."_ Keith had repeated to himself, but he knew it _wasn't just a nosebleed_. He tried to ignore it for the longest time, hoping it was just a prolonged, unique type of cold.

The way his body would sweat at night, how tired he was during the day, how random bruises were forming. He told himself he was fine, but this was the wake up call he most hated. 

The one where he had to realize that his life wasn't so perfect; that everything he thought was going to happen in the next years, might be taken away from him. 

_It hurt._

Lotor had rushed after him, his mother as well, calling Shiro and putting in on speaker on the other side of the door. They were all scared, but Keith was terrified. 

He didn't open the door for a few minutes, but then the nose bleed wouldn't stop and he finally opened the door after he ran out of toiler paper. He would never forget the look in Lotor's eyes as he looked at the bloody balls of paper around him, Keith's face in tears and sobbing about how he hates how "nothing ever works out". 

Lotor had hugged him, handed him toilet paper sections after sections as they drove to the hospital, held the phone for him as Shiro talked to him, saying how he was flying in from California, where Voltron was located on the first flight out. 

Keith couldn't form words, he just kept on crying until he was dressed in a gown. He kept repeating how " _it was almost five years. How it was just a few months before it was five years_ ". How he was so close to just living a normal life forever.

He told everyone he was sorry for crying so much, how he was being a brat, and how much he hates the brats in his classes that would complain about pointless stuff. He told Lotor to kiss him before he finally died.

At that point, it was the drugs talking. 

* * *

The doctors said that he could get a stem cell transplant from cells that were collected during his initial remission. If not, they would try chemo fully after that to see what would work. Keith cried when they listed his options. He squeezed Lotor's hand and angrily yelled at himself for being stupid and not being careful, how he was "stupid for _getting_ cancer."

Lotor had consoled him telling him none of this could possibly be his fault and Keith just stopped crying. He stopped talking, he stopped doing much of anything after he calmed down. 

Even when Shiro arrived, he didn't talk. He just nodded when asked questions and looked blankly at scans that were shown or doctors explaining to him what the next steps were. It was like watching his life be taken from him. 

He didn't even say anything when Shiro said that he was taking him to California with him; that he could easily get into the Academy and he could dance when he got better under Shiro's supervision. He stayed silent when Shiro said he wasn't leaving him alone ever again, how he was careless and nothing would have happened if he had just been with him to check for symptoms of his reoccurrence. 

Keith only spoke up to tell him that, "it didn't matter anymore." That he didn't _care_ anymore. 

They tried the transplant first. He needed a high-dose of chemo before to "erase all the mistakes" as Keith had explained to Lotor.

It was stupid. They were thirteen and their last months in school were spent in a hospital instead of enjoying their eighth year in school. Instead Lotor would come and watch him throw up and sleep, and cry from how utterly horrible the chemo made him feel. 

Lotor stayed, Keith thought he wouldn't. Their relationship, or if you could even call it that, became about Keith getting better. 

It was silly, they were thirteen.

Keith didn't know how much a person could make another person happy though. How his whole life he had only really spoken to four people, his aunt, Shiro, his doctor In New York, and his doctor here. 

He thought the cancer would scare Lotor, but he came everyday, stayed at the hospital sometimes. Keith told him to go practice ballet because "one of them had to become a prodigy". Lotor told him that was his job and he would do it as soon as he got out of the hospital. 

Keith told him to stop making him hopeful or he was going to have to break up with him. Lotor laughed and Keith smiled. If he was going to die, he thought maybe this time he didn't want to do it alone.

Everyone told him to stop saying that, but Keith told them that it wasn't them on a table with a needle sunk into their hip. 

They laughed, Keith was starting to become good at making people laugh. 

* * *

The chemo didn't work at first, he developed pneumonia and his body wasn't strong enough do recover _and_   have chemo at the same time, so they had to pause the treatment, meaning Keith would definitely not dance that year. It's not like Shiro would let him, but he tried to believe that maybe there would be some type of miracle. 

So he stayed in bed for most of December, Lotor coming and telling him stories of weird people, helping Keith stretch because Keith refused to take his meds unless he did so. Keith laughed a lot that year, even let Lotor see the 'face herpes' he got, saying that Lotor must really life him to want to see him like that. 

Shiro never left either, his job in California being put on hold. They went back to doing the activities they did together when Keith was eight, when Shiro would visit him in the hospital. They would decorate surgical masks, watch cringey ballet films, do the online classes for school because Keith refused to be left behind  _if_ he did make it out of the hospital one day. 

Shiro told him he would, but Keith refused to believe that. 

* * *

 

Winter past by fast, Lotor having to be at school more for showcases and exams. It was around that time that Keith could start chemo again. He thought being sick was bad, but being on chemo was worse. 

Having bone marrow biopsies topped the pain bar though. He had almost forgotten the pain of something drilling a hole in his bone. Lotor called him "a bloody stud", but Keith told him that he was "bloody in pain".

It was different than when he was a kid since he refused to be sedated, said that it was easier if he just recovered without the groggy feeling. Plus he had the energy to at least flex his toes and he didn't want to waste more time than he needed. 

Shiro gave in, watching Kieth silently cry each time they had to drill into his hip.

* * *

 

March of the next year came, and he was cleared.

He had the transplant, the stem cell one, bone marrow, it all meant the same thing.

It was successful, all that had to happen now was wait. Stay in the hospital for at least four weeks, no germs, no outside, no _freedom_. Keith made Shiro cut his hair short, convinced that it wasn't going to work and he didn't want to have to cut it when he needed to start chemo again.

It wasn't needed though, the chemo. Because there were _no_ complications. After two months, everyone was still with him, the doctors saying that everything looked good. Keith told him to stop saying that, that everything "looked good" last time. The doctor frowned as Keith said that, positioning himself for the doctor to poke him with some needle. 

To check his blood or immunity, or whatever, it wasn't going to show anything Keith wanted to see, or he didn't know.

He started becoming hopeful in a totally different way, seeing that the idea of dying wasn't scary, it was more the idea of dying without having done anything that scared him more. So once he was cleared after two months he forced Shiro to take him places. He had to wear a mask of course, he had one in practically every design at this point, matching them to his outfits. 

They went walking, for short periods because Shiro was paranoid and Keith didn't want to die _too_ quickly. 

Lotor came over a lot, basically getting in routine to act as if he had the plague when he visited. Showering, washing his hands, sanitizing them before he even thought of stepping inside their house. 

Shiro had a barre installed in the living room, for Keith to just do simple ballet exercises, Lotor coming and doing it with him, complaining how even missing a whole school year he was still better than him. Keith knew he was lying, his technique was bad and his stamina wasn't there anymore. 

They practiced though, little by little Keith got back into dancing. 

When summer came, to apply for their ninth year, Keith could keep his place at the Royal Ballet, but Lotor didn't make it in. Keith learned he was falling behind, and he said it was his fault for making him come see him at the hospital and cutting into his practice time, Lotor refused to place any fault on Keith and admitted that he had other options. 

Those  _other_ options were halfway across the world though, in California. He applied there too, and he got in, at the school where Shiro had taught, into Voltron. Shiro was beyond happy, but Keith was not. He was going to be alone when he went back to primary year,  _if_ he was cleared by then to even start dancing at an elite level. 

So they spent summer together, doing anything and dancing as much as they could. They were just thirteen, but it felt like the happiest moments in their lives. They were both mature in a way, emotionally at least. Even if Lotor made sex jokes every ten seconds and Keith had the most depressing humor. 

Shiro brought up the idea that Keith could be better off doing his first secondary year in California, where his job was waiting for him, where he would be able to watch Keith more closely because he would be on campus with him. Keith didn't like the idea at first, but as summer ended, he agreed to the terms, telling Lotor that they would only be apart for a year. They danced a lot that night.

Time came though, for Lotor to go to California, to leave him to start at the Academy. They said their goodbyes and said they would meet-up soon; that a year would pass before they knew it.

That was the plan, until the doctor said that Keith couldn't travel for another year because he got a cold; that he needed to be as close to a hospital that knew how to deal with his illness at all times. That's when Keith stopped writing. He sent Lotor a final email saying that everything looked good and that he would make it in time for the summer before he started school with him.

He never did though. 

* * *

 

He got cleared to start his ninth year along with all his thirteen year-old classmates. He was slow at first, told he had to do pointe because his technique was weak; he was weak.

At first, it was easy not to tell anyone why he disappeared the year before, but then he was told he had to wear masks to class and sanitize the barre where he danced. 

Kids started picking up that Keith had been 'sick'. They started treating him differently, the girls offering to help him, the boys teasing him, telling him his masks looked stupid. Not to mention the looks he got when he was a  _boy_ having to dance pointe because he was just  _that_ behind. 

It bothered him, but Keith didn't let it get in the way of his dancing. He ignored them, managing to be the best in his class. It was a miracle that Keith even kept up; that's what everyone told him, but what people didn't know is he worked twice as hard, pushed himself as much as he could without warranting a hospital visit. 

He stayed in London for another year, did his freshman year there, and continued ignoring the emails from Lotor. He couldn't bring himself to speak to him when he was so alone, but at the time didn't want to start talking to him after a year of ignoring him either.

He danced in the Royal Ballet, getting the all clear from his doctor to not have to take the precautions he did the last year, not having to wear masks or clean the barres. Secretly though, he would be early to class just to clean his section at the barre, making sure no one noticed. 

He also realized he was a millionaire when he turned fifteen and had the longest fight with Shiro over how he didn't tell him his dad was "freaking loaded" in his quoted words. 

He let his hair grow out, a bit over the summer after his first year, not being restricted by the school, or having to cut it. He wore surgical masks out everywhere because he said it was " _stylish_ " and made him look more " _Asian_ ", but in reality he was just paranoid that he would reject the transplant somehow and he would never be able to leave London. 

It was time though, he had to go to California now, Shiro's job not letting him be out for longer. Keith didn't fight him. He knew how good Voltron was. It wasn't the Royal Ballet, but nothing ever could be that for him. If he was being honest, he wanted to leave the place too. It was the place where his dreams had come down and his illness had come back. 

Despite all the memories it held, it still wasn't enough for him to rage all out war on staying. So he said goodbye, leaving Lotor's mother, packing up his bags. 

* * *

The flight to California was tedious. There were a lot of people at the airport and a lot of people in the airplane. In general, there were just too many people in the outside world outside of his ballet and Shiro bubble. 

He went to Shiro's place first, getting the long speech on how staying in the dorms was an option, and he preferred if Keith stayed with him and they could just go to the Academy together.

Keith refused, saying that he would be fine and it had been over a year since the transplant had taken place. He also said how he got the all clear from his doctors in London, and Shiro gave in. Saying, he absolutely had to come on the weekends and a phone call every night was mandatory or he would come and carry his from his dorm all the way home. 

Keith agreed, but not without rolling his eyes and grabbing his stuff. He said how he was going to go start his 'new life'. And how his lack of white blood cells wasn't going to stop him. 

Shiro laughed, but told him to keep the 'dark humor' to the minimum. Keith laughed and told him he would try. Shiro drove him all the way to the dorms, dropping him off and handing him a vanilla folder. Keith looked at it and sighed. 

His medical check up. 

Shiro asked him for the millionth time if he wanted him to go with Keith and of course Keith rolled his eyes in protest. 

Shiro smiled nevertheless and got out of the car, getting his two duffle bags out of the car, giving him a kiss on the head and telling him to call him that night. Again, Keith rolled his eyes and agreed, telling him to get off him or people would think he was a "pedophile". Shiro lightly punched him and got back in the car, waving goodbye. 

Keith did the same and headed into the dorms, into a whole new life where he could start over. 

Where he wasn't "cancer kid" anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline: (more for me, cause I got confused too)  
> Keith gets diagnosed at five.  
> He goes into remission (cancer-free) at eight.  
> Gets into the Royal Ballet when he turns ten.
> 
> It comes back when he's thirteen(the fall of his seventh grade year). (eighth year, in England).  
> He gets the transplant in the spring of his seventh grade year.
> 
> He is fully cleared to dance by the start of eighth grade(ninth year).  
> Lotor leaves during the summer before eighth grade (ninth year).  
> Keith dances at the Royal Ballet his eighth grade year (ninth year). 
> 
> He is told he can't travel long distances for another year, so he attends the Royal Ballet for another year when he's fourteen, turning fifteen there as well. 
> 
> Shiro tells him he inherited like a lot of money when he's fifteen and his parents were basically rich.
> 
> He moves to California to attend VAA when he's fifteen. 
> 
> Keith gets a clean slate when he's fifteen.


	2. /adj/ bloody /n/ stud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, dancer?" Lance asked as Keith unpacked a bag that said 'Shut Up and Dance With Me'.
> 
> "Uh, yeah," Keith chuckled, placing his clothes in his closet, on his side of the wall. "And you?" he asked Lance. 
> 
> "Musician," Lance said as he pointed at the guitar case leaned against his bed. Even though he got his scholarship because of his dance audition, he chose to pursue music. The only requirement is he join some type of dance club. It wasn't an important detail though, so he didn't bring it up.
> 
> "Oh, I should have known," Keith chuckled as he continued unpacking. The boy had an uncanny amount of ballet shoes.
> 
> "So, I don't think I saw you around here last year?" Lance asked and Keith froze.

"We are sophomores now," Lance spoke as he poured coffee for Pidge, his friend who attended high school with him, a student at Voltron Academy of the Arts, a boarding school.

"As you keep saying," Pidge grumbled as she takes the cup from over the counter, reading the name Lance left on the cup. 

'Gremlin'

"Real mature, real mature  _sophomore,"_ Pidge retorted as she sat down at a table next to where Lance was working. 

"Are you going down to check the room assignments?" Pidge asked and Lance sighed. 

"I'm not paired up with Hunk, so it doesn't matter," Lance said. 

"Well I got paired up with Jane," Pidge smirked and Lance scoffed. 

"Not fair, she's got all the connections. She's practically destined for NYU. Not to mention she's a prodigy at music," Lance listed as he took a customer's order. 

"I know, and she's rooming with me," Pidge bragged as Lance handed coffee to more people. 

"I'm going to go to my dorm after my shift is over," Lance said and Pidge nodded. 

"Isn't Hunk supposed to be back from that camp today?" Pidge asked. 

"No, he decided to stay another day with your stupid brother, the 'ultimate camp host', cause he discovered his love for the 'theater'," Lance said, annoyed. 

"Calling my brother stupid isn't going to make Hunk come back any sooner," Pidge said as she took a sip of her coffee. 

"Yeah, whatever, I'm going to go," Lance said as he took his apron off and said goodbye to his boss. 

"Are you coming?" Lance asked and Pidge nodded proudly. 

"I'm meeting up with Jane," Pidge grinned and Lance rolled his eyes. 

"So not fair, you gremlin," Lance said as he narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue, going outside of the coffee shop. He sighed as he went to look for his bike. He took a deep breath as he got on it and headed to campus. 

* * *

_I swear it's been a year and I can't find my way around here still_. 

Lance thought as he got to campus. He went to the parking lot and found his car. He always left it for emergencies, not being able to afford gas, plus he was not wanting to add to the impending doom of mother Earth, that's what he told the ladies when they asked him. 

It made him sound less like a scholarship kid, which he was, but no one needed to know the full truth, not off the bat anyway. 

"Hey, Lance!" He heard someone yell. It was Diana. They had met last year, and Lance was utterly and hopelessly in love with her. He smiled as she came to hug him and walk with him into the dorm area. He waved her off as he went up to the boy's floor, it was above the girl's one.

He opened up his phone and checked once more who his roommate was:

**'Keith Kogane'**

He was sure it sounded Asian, at least the last name. But other than that, he couldn't say anything else about the person. He hadn't met him last year, and from the looks of it, he assumed that he had transferred from another Academy, which only made him more nervous because someone had to be really good to just 'transfer' into VAA, it was the national school of the Arts in all America. He was lucky the board even considered him for a scholarship. 

Lance pondered the thought as he made his way up the dorms, carrying his duffle bags and suitcase with him. His mother had insisted he bring anything that reminded him of home and who was he to argue with 'Mama'?

"302, 302," Lance repeated as he looked at his phone and walked down the hallway. He finally found the room and took out his key, entering the room. His roommate wasn't there yet, so it was empty, the mattresses not even on the beds yet, the windows closed. He set everything down first and opened the curtains, letting the light in. 

The room was average. The beds were lined up on the edge of the wall, the window centered right in the middle. Lance decided he would get settled and hoped 'Keith' wouldn't mind him choosing the bed that was on the right, opposite of the window, letting the sun hit him as he laid in bed. 

It took him a while, but he set up his bed and at the very least put the mattress of 'Keith's' bed for whenever he decided to show up. His roommate still wasn't there yet. He realized that dorms didn't have to be filled yet, but it was recommended that the students at least meet their roommates today and get everything set up, for school started up on Monday. 

It was Saturday. 

Just as Lance was about to give up on waiting out for his roommate, the door handle turned and a boy walked in. He was wearing a flannel, black legging, and a white shirt. His hair was up in a bun with various bobby pins trying to keep the fly aways at bay. There was also a black surgical mask around his neck. Lance looked away, mentally scolding himself for staring. 

_He's beautiful._

Lance shook his head as he pushed the thought out. 

"Um, Lance?" the boy asked as he looked at his phone and then at Lance. Lance nodded and stuck out his hand, letting the boy shake it. 

"Yeah, I already set up my side. I hope you don't mind that I picked this side. I can move if you want," Lance said and Keith nodded immediately. 

"No, no, it's fine. I like the side that faces away from the sun either way. Plus easier to get to since the door doesn't block the bed," Keith chuckled as he set his two duffle bags on the bed. Lance tried to not widen his eyes at how it was the only thing the boy brought with him. 

"So, dancer?" Lance asked as Keith unpacked a bag that said 'Shut Up and Dance With Me'.

"Uh, yeah," Keith chuckled, placing his clothes in his closet, on his side of the wall. "And you?" he asked Lance. 

"Musician," Lance said as he pointed at the guitar case leaned against his bed. Even though he got his scholarship because of his dance audition, he chose to pursue music. The only requirement is he join some type of dance club. It wasn't an  _important_ detail though, so he didn't bring it up.

"Oh, I should have known," Keith chuckled as he continued unpacking. The boy had an uncanny amount of ballet shoes.

"So, I don't think I saw you around here last year?" Lance asked and Keith froze. 

"Oh, yeah I got in freshman year, but I decided to complete the first year in London. But I'm here now," Keith said as he started putting the bed sheets on his bed, they were white, the pillowcases black. Everything looked for formal, so plain and kind of creepy in a way. Lance looked at how much color and junk was on his side, even more that he set up a cork board with pictures of his friends. 

Keith side didn't have any posters except for a poster of the Royal Ballet, yet that was even black and white. 

"Love the color," Lance joked and Keith perked up, looking at both sides to understand the joke. 

"Oh, yeah. Just like everything to be clean," Keith responded as he put all his dance shoes in a plastic box which was located under his bed, Lane had used his to put his bags in. 

"So any ground rules?" Lance asked and Keith looked up as he fluffed one of his pillows. 

"Um," Keith began to say, but stopped, not being able to think of anything at the top of his head. He then checked the time on his phone and realized he was going to be late to his doctor's appointment. 

"I think I have to go. There's this dance social happening today. Nice meeting you though, I will see you tonight?" Keith said, not letting Lance respond as he walked out the door, taking a black tote bag with him. 

"See you later," Lance whispered to the empty room as the door shut. "He sure is something," Lance said as he continued pinning photos to his cork-board. He smiled as he picked up each photo from the box he had put them all in. They were pictures of his friends, family, and even some concert tickets of some of the shows he attended from his favorite artists. 

When he finished he stepped back and looked at his side. It looked nice. He decided that the rest of his stuff could wait till later today. As he was about to leave he decided to check out the other side, which honestly looked like a standard hotel room. 

It looked so 'fake' in a way. Everything was 'too' perfect, 'too' plain. There was no life to it. Lance went over to the things placed neatly on the shelves on Keith's side. They were trophies of dance competitions, medals from dance shows. There was also a large container of hand sanitizer. He then saw a whole stack of books that didn't really have a place and Lance looked at his own pile of books. 

 _We should get a desk. It would fit perfectly in front of the window_.

Lance sighed as he decided he would buy one to install tonight. It would be useful for the both of them, since they still had to take the basic core classes and would need a suitable place to do homework.

As soon as he started walking down the stairs he heard a voice he recognized. 

"Hey, stranger," the someone chuckled at the bottom of the stairs.

"Lotor, I have to go," the person who was talking said, it sounded familiar. Either way, Lance knew Lotor. He seemed intimidating, but he was actually a loyal friend. They had roomed together last year, Lotor specializing in dance and being the top in the class. He was sure it was just taunting to whomever he was talking to.

"Hey, I just want to talk. My mom said to check up on you. I _want_ to check up on you," Lotor said, this time is sounded more hurt. He didn't hear anymore voices, so Lance rushed down the stairs, holding onto the railing as he saw the two boys at the bottom of the stairs, Lotor's lips planted right on Keith's. The boy's face was red and as he heard Lance coming down, his eyes widened and he pushed Lotor off. 

"I-I have to go. I'm going to be late," Keith said, pulling his surgical mask on as he rushed down the set of stairs to the main floor.

"We are doing game night tonight!" Lotor hollered down the railing that was facing the front door, where Keith was rushing out of. "Fine, I will text your brother!"

"Um, what was that?" Lance asked, making Lotor turn around to look at him. 

"Oh, Lance," Lotor chuckled, bringing his hand to his head. "Just some drama, nothing much," he said. "So how's the roommate? No one too creepy I hope," Lotor said, trying to ignore the obvious question in the air. 

"You would know better, you were just sucking face with him," Lance said, crossing his arms as he leaned on the railing. 

"Oh," Lotor said, his face falling. "Well, fuck," Lotor said, silence filling the air for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. Lance then laughed too. 

* * *

"He came from London apparently," Lance said as he and Lotor sat in Lance's dorm. They decided that talking about this would be better where no one could hear them. 

"Yeah," Lotor confirmed as he leaned against Lance's bed, they were both on the floor, Lance sitting criss-crossed in the middle of the room. 

"So how do you know him?" Lance asked and  Lotor chuckled. 

"Well we went to primary-or well middle school together," Lotor responded. "We are, were a 'thing'? I don't know at the moment, but we never officially broke up," Lotor said as he looked at his hands, leaning his arms on his knees. Lance thought about it. I mean it went together, Lotor did have a British accent, maybe they met in London? Keith didn't have an accent though, but Lance didn't want to pry and just went for the simplest question.

"You're dating him?" Lance asked. "And here I thought I had Prima Ballerina with no interests as my roommate," Lance said and Lotor laughed at his remark. 

"Well, I mean he takes dancing pretty seriously, but trust me there's a lot more to him than just dancing," Lotor said, his voice gentle, kind of admiring in a way. 

"Speaking of dance, aren't you going to the dance social thing? Keith mentioned it-," Lance said. 

"That's tomorrow," Lotor said and Lance frowned. 

"Oh, maybe he got the dates mixed up," Lance said and Lotor didn't look at him, his face showing he knew something. 

"What do you know that I don't?" Lance asked as he looked at Lotor's face, who just played innocent. 

"Nothing," Lotor lied, quite obviously. "I think you should just get to know your roommate a little bit better, and stop trying to pry information out of me," Lotor added. 

"Okay, just one more question," Lance asked and Lotor sighed and nodded in annoyance. 

"How many times have you had sex with him?" Lance asked, making Lotor tackle him down, both of them laughing. They were a tangled mess until they heard the doorknob rattle, revealing a shocked Keith at the doorway. 

"Oh, I'll just-I forgot something," Keith said as he went over to his bed, grabbing a vanilla folder with some papers that was on his bedside and leaving as fast as possible. 

"Keith!" Lotor yelled after him, untangling himself from Lance.

"We can talk later," Lotor said to Lance as he rushed out the door after Keith, leaving Lance on the floor.

_Gosh this is going to be one hell of a year._

* * *

"Keith!" Lotor yelled out and Keith did his best to avoid the yelling. Everyone's eyes were on him probably, he could even feel his breathing starting to pick up as he thought about how many eyes were at him at the moment. 

At times, he  _really_ hated Lotor. 

"Keith, you can't ignore me forever," Lotor said, showing up at Keith's side. 

"Lotor, we can talk later," Keith simply said as he turned around, making him drop the papers he had went back tot he dorm to get. He cursed as he tried to pick them up, it was a bit windy outside and they were bound to blow away. 

"Here, let me," Lotor said as he picked up one of the papers, reading it.

 **'Royal Ballet School'** He picked up another and his eyes caught one of the sentences. 

**'Mr. Kogane we are sad to hear you won't be attending second year with us, but we understand this is the best option for your health.'**

He managed to catch glimpses of sentences. 

**'12 months post-transplant, clear.'**

**'Stable immune system.'**

**'Cleared to dance.'**

"Lotor, give me the damn papers," Keith said, practically tackling Lotor for the papers. 

"Keith," Lotor said, giving the papers back. "You're really okay. You've been dancing," Lotor added, happily. 

Keith ignored him, not making eye contact and putting the papers in his bag, collecting the rest that had dropped. 

"Keith," Lotor repeated, not making a dent in the boy's efforts to ignore the conversation.

"Can we just have a normal year?" Keith said as he sighed, finally facing Lotor. 

"I think we passed that option five seconds ago," Lotor said as he lightly laughed, wrapping one of his hands around Keith's.

"Lotor," Keith said as he lightly squeezed his hand. "I ignored you, you don't have to be nice to me."

"Okay, at least buy me a coffee. You've ignored me for almost two years," Lotor said.

"I have an appointment. It's important," Keith replied, pulling his hand away. 

"Want me to come with you? I have been dying to taste hospital food again, plus like seeing you act like a 'bloody stud'," Lotor said, and Keith laughed, looking down for a few seconds before nodding. 


	3. /adj/ new /n/ person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know you are a bit of an asshole," Lance said as he continued to build the desk, regardless of Keith's attempt to get him to stop. 
> 
> "Goodnight," Keith said, turning off the lights, making it so Lance couldn't see what he was doing. 
> 
> "You are going to feel the fury of Lance McClain in the morning," Lance said, Keith humming in response. Lance went to at least change his pants into some long shorts before heading to bed, being as loud as he could to make Keith uncomfortable.

He's basically the spitting image of a Prima Ballerina with no life," Lance said as he rolled a cart in the store, his friend Pidge looking at possible desks he could buy. 

"Well you literally met him for what, five seconds?" Pidge said. "If I judged you within the first five seconds, we would not be friends right now."

"Well now you are just using insults to make your point seem right," Lance whined as he stopped the cart, a desk catching his eye. 

"It is right," Pidge said as she walked over to where Lance was standing. 

"This one looks nice," Lance said. "It's the right size too," Lance said. The desk was glass, the chair it was modeled with was black. "The colors would even match his side of the room. I swear Pidge, he could be a vampire," Lance added. 

"Oh, you are horrible. Give him a chance, just cause he isn't Hunk or Lotor doesn't make him a demon," Pidge remarked as she inspected the desk. 

"Vampire, not demon. I wouldn't go that far," Lance replied, "Yet."

"I like it, the price is good too," Pidge agreed as Lance pulled the box out, putting it in the cart. Lance was about to rant some more before he got a text. 

 

**Lotor**

_Diana said you went to the store. Can you buy some eggs? I'll pay you back._

**Lance**

_Um, okay?_

**Lotor**

_< 3_

 

"Well Lotor wants eggs?" Lance said and Pidge just nodded, she was headed to the food aisle anyway.

"What? I ran out of late night snacks," Pidge said. 

"How's Jane going to get into Julliard if you stay up all night working on your DJ stuff?" Lance asked and Pidge shrugged. 

"She's superhuman. I'm sure she will figure it out," Pidge said and Lance rolled his eyes as he went to get some eggs. 

As they waited in line to pay, Lance scrolled on his phone. He checked social media and opened up one of Lotor's latest story. The boy was basically always recording his life's moments. 

Lance opened it and it was a video of Keith dancing outside a large building. Lance's eyes widened at how technically beautiful it was. Keith was turning and jumping in a mix of hip hop and ballet. Which is something Lance wasn't sure could even flow so naturally. The music was off, but Lance made sure to remember to listen to it in the car.

"What you looking at? Is it a picture of Diana?" Pidge teased as she went over and looked at the video. "Dude, he's like really good, is he one of Lotor's third year friends?"

"That's Prima Ballerina," Lance said and Pidge laughed. 

"What's his name? You have my full interest at the moment. I didn't think this guy was worth the cyber stalking," Pidge said as she whipped out her phone. 

"Keith Kogane," Lance said, pulling up the email with his name, putting the eggs where the cashier could scan them, and rolling the cart closer, so they could scan the desk's bar code. 

As they exited the store, Pidge burst out laughing. 

"What?" Lance asked as he loaded the things in his car. 

"He went to the Royal Ballet last year. Best dancer in his class. He won like a bunch of awards," Pidge said as she handed Lance her phone. 

"Royal Ballet? Like as in  _the_ Royal Ballet? What the hell is he doing here?" Lance asked and Pidge shrugged. 

"If you try to search anything else that doesn't have the word 'dance' or 'ballet', it's like he doesn't even exist," Pidge said. 

"What about social media account?" Lance asked as he handed back her phone, starting up the car.

"Nothing," Pidge sighed. "Gosh, I was getting somewhere with my cyber stalking business."

"Well now I guess he will stay Prima Vampire Ballerina," Lance said as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

"You know he is a person. You could always ask him whatever you want to. The worst he can say is he doesn't want to tell you," Pidge said and Lance rolled his eyes, turning on the right. 

"You have the weirdest logic," Lance replied. 

"I'm just stating facts," Pidge said. 

Lance sighed and the bickering continued until they reached the dorms. It was just thirty minutes before curfew and Lance carried the box with the desk into the building, being greeted by some of the first years who were exploring the main floor. The main floor was to hang out. It was open to everyone. There was a living room, a foosball and pool table. The kitchen was pretty small, most of the food being served on campus. 

Lance wobbled his way up the stairs though, having Pidge put the eggs in the fridge and then following him up. 

"You think you can help set it up?" Lance asked. 

"I have to set up my dorm too," Pidge said and Lance rolled his eyes. "We can definitely do a horror movie though," Pidge suggested. 

"Thirty minutes?" Lance asked and Pidge nodded as she went through the door leading to the second floor. The stairs were set up that way, so that there were different doors to get into and out of each floor, a wall separating the stairs from the rest of the floor. 

Lance headed up, going to his room and opening the door, keys no longer required after you set up your room. As he walked in he saw Keith and Lotor on the floor, playing a card game. 

"Oh, hi Lance," Lotor said and Lance looked at him in shock. 

"Glad to know you moved in," Lance responded, placing the box down. 

"What's that?" Lotor asked, Keith looking at it, his surgical mask on. 

"A desk, I thought it would be useful. We can put it right in front of the window," Lance said and Keith looked at it. 

"How much did it cost? I can pay you half of it," Keith finally said, pulling his mask off. 

"Oh, that reminds me," Lotor said, giving Lance a couple dollars. Lance took only half. 

"It's fine," Lance said, Lotor insisted though, leaving the rest on his bed, making Lance whine in annoyance. 

"Here's twenty," Keith said, pulling out his wallet, handing it to Lotor to put on Lance's bed, so he couldn't refuse to take them. 

"You are impossible," Lance said and Keith put his wallet away. 

"Well, I'll leave you to build that," Lotor said and petted Keith's head as he left. 

"He just  _petted_ you," Lance remarked, making Keith turn a but red as he picked up the cards, putting them away. He didn't answer. What was he supposed to say?

"Hey, like what are you?" Lance asked suddenly. Keith just ignored him as he went to his side of the room, already in his sleeping clothes which were just some leggings and a loose tank top. "Like you come from Royal Ballet to old, simple California, just cause?" Lance asks and Keith freezes, placing the cards down on his bedside, putting some hand sanitizer on his hands before going to go open the box.

"And like are you some germ freak or something?" Lance asks and Keith freezes again. 

"Yeah," Keith says, taking off his mask, throwing it on his bed. "I left because I was kicked out, discipline issues. And I have a germ problem. Anything else you want to know?" Keith sighed, not bothering to explain his lie as he opened the box, pulling out the instructions. 

"How did you meet Lotor?" Lance asked after a couple seconds, sitting on the floor with him, reading the instructions. 

"He went to the Royal with me, his primary school years," Keith responded, leaving Lance a bit surprised. 

"He never mentioned that," Lance said and Keith just continued pulling things out. 

"Well, the more you know," Keith responds, putting together the first parts. Lance frowns at the sarcastic remark. 

"Why did you lie?" Lance asked, making Keith look at him, a bit confused. "About where you were going? Where did you even go? Why were you with Lotor?" Lance asked. 

"Why, you jealous or something?" Keith taunted as he got up. "I think we can put it up in the morning. I'm a bit tired," Keith said as he went to his bed. Lance looked at him in shock, the immediate and sudden action leaving him bothered. 

_What kind of person does he think he is?_

"You know you are a bit of an asshole," Lance said as he continued to build the desk, regardless of Keith's attempt to get him to stop. 

"Goodnight," Keith said, turning off the lights, making it so Lance couldn't see what he was doing. 

"You are going to feel the fury of Lance McClain in the morning," Lance said, Keith humming in response. Lance went to at least change his pants into some long shorts before heading to bed, being as loud as he could to make Keith uncomfortable. 

* * *

 He woke up at nine. He yawned and got out of bed. As he walked over to the window, he bumped into something. 

The desk. It was built and there was a blue chair set up beside it. He looked over to the other side, and Keith wasn't there. His bed was made though. 

_Well he is still an asshole, just less of one now._

Lance thought as he walked out of his room, heading for the bathroom to brush his teeth before he heard a scream. 

"Are you crazy? Who even cooks eggs that way?" 

"Well, some of us don't like salmonella," Lance knew that was Lotor. He went over to the staircase area, slumping over the railing to see the main floor. He could only see the entrance from up here, and the large window above it, revealing the beautiful sight outside. 

He decided he would brush his teeth and he would head downstairs. 

Each dorm had it's own bathroom right next to it, still amazing Lance because all summer he was used to sharing his with five of his other siblings. 

"Who wants salmonella?" Lance heard Lotor holler from downstairs, getting a whole quake from the second and third floors. There weren't many people, three rooms being on each floor, and most of them were just getting there later that day. It was still at least six other people that would go down for breakfast. 

"Hope you made a buffet!" Someone hollered as they rushed down the stairs, coming out of their bathroom. 

"We got pancakes too!" Lotor hollered back. 

_We?_

Lance rushed downstairs too, drying his mouth with his shirt. 

As he got to the kitchen he saw Lotor serving plates, Keith beside him, handing them to whomever came and got breakfast. 

"You realize there's a campus cafe five feet away?" Lance asked as Keith handed him a plate. 

"No one is forcing you to be a jackass," Lotor responded before Keith could even form words. Lance rolled his eyes as he took the plate. 

As they all settled in the dining room, everyone started talking about random things, they all turned their attention towards Keith though as he sat down. 

"So, you British folk as well?" One of the guys asked, Alex, a musician.

"Just went to school-I went to primary school with him," Keith responded, poking at his food, smiling very awkwardly. Lance grinned. 

_He is socially awkward._

"Primary? So you are a brit," Diana giggled as she took a bite of her food. 

"Well brit or not, if you make Lotor put his cooking skills to use, you can stay," Jane said as she walked into the kitchen. 

_Oh shit, I was supposed to watch a horror movie with Pidge yesterday._

"Oh Lance?" Jane said as she served herself a plate, Lance perked up at the mention of his name. "Pidge says that she's out for blood. Don't worry she fell asleep like two hours ago so you still got time to run," she giggled and Lance laughed nervously. 

"Have you guys heard of the introductory project?" Diana asked as she finished her plate. "At least for second years."

"What? Is it like last year? I swear if it's a video project, I will-," Lotor began to complain and all the second years groaned in irritation as the rest of them laughed. 

"No, we get instructions emailed to us today, but I heard it's a partner thing this year," Diana explained. 

"Well, hope that it isn't like last year," Alex said as he got up, washing his plate. 

"Last year?" Keith asked, everyone turning to him. 

"Told you he doesn't have an accent!" Alex yelled, high-fiving Diana, who rolled her eyes, Keith turning a bit red. 

"Last year we had to record ourselves doing our specialty and make this whole cool video of how we got to where we are today. Honestly, like so boring. Plus, no one understood how to even deal with the multimedia side of it, only the students in music production," Alex explained, Keith nodding as if he understood half of what was being said. 

 _He's acting so cute._  

Lance thought. 

_Oh god, what the heck, stop thinking those things. Is there something wrong with you?_

"We have a showcase in the beginning of each year. Each class gets to show the rest of their grade like what they plan to do in the year. It's kind of like a welcoming, before you sell your soul to your department for the rest of the year," Lotor explained, making Keith laugh. 

_Gosh, he's even cuter when he laughs._

"You okay, Lance?" Diana asked him as Lance turned red. He didn't notice how he was staring at Keith, zoning out. 

"Yeah, fine," Lance said. "Just didn't know you didn't wear masks all the time," Lance said. He didn't even know why he said that, he didn't want to insult Keith, it just kind of happened as a way to get the attention off of him. 

"Masks?" Jane asked, getting up herself ans washing her plate. 

"He's Korean. It's a Korean thing when you travel," Lotor said and the rest of the group nodded. 

"Like kpop?" Diana asked. 

"No," Keith chuckled. "Just more of a travel thing. There's a lot of people with germs, and I just get sick really easily," Keith said, poking at his food, he hadn't eaten anything, or barely anything. 

"He's a germ freak," Lance blurted out. Again, he didn't know why he was being such a jerk. But he couldn't stop it now. Everyone looked at Keith for a response.

"I don't think there's much harm in not wanting to get sick. I mean you know, being a dancer, taking care of yourself is important," Keith suddenly said as he got up. "You wouldn't know though since all you can do it insult me," Keith continued, throwing away his food, and washing the plate. 

"Wow, new guy does have a voice," Jane smirked, wrapping her arm around Keith's shoulder, eyeing Lance. 

"Whatever," Lance said, finishing up his food. 

"Well, there's a dance social, so we probably have to get going," Lotor said as he finished too. Getting Keith's, Diana's, and two other students' attention, they were all dancers. 

That left Lance, Alex, Jane, and another girl in the kitchen. 

"Okay, are we going to talk about the obvious tension in the room?" Alex asked, leaning next to Lance. 

"What tension?" Lance asked, going to wash his own plate. 

"Keith and Lotor are definitely banging, or were," Alex said. "My gaydar can sense it."

"I never even knew Lotor went to the Royal Ballet. I just thought his mom was like British and he grew up just having an accent," the other girl, Kia, said. 

"Well what happens in London, stays in London," Jane laughed as she sat down in front of Alex. 

"You guys are childish," Lance said as he went to sit down, next to Jane. 

"Says you. Just cause you are confused sexually doesn't give you an excuse to be a jerk to new guy," Alex scoffed, making Lance turn red. 

"I am not confused sexually. Just cause I made an irrational choice once doesn't mean I am suddenly all for men," Lance rolled his eyes. 

"That's what I said," Alex smiled, making Kia and Jane laugh. 

"You guys are actually impossible. I'm going to go remove myself from this hostile environment," Lance concluded, stepping out of the room. 

"Watch out for Pidge. I think she hit her three hour sleep limit mark," Jane hollered, making Lance run faster up the stairs. 

* * *

**Good afternoon Artists,**

**As you know school will commence tomorrow morning. The student showcase will take place on September 12. As second years, you are expected to continue your classes and complete the project on your own time with your designated partner.**

**For this year, you will be paired up with your dorm partner. You will complete a piece that presents both of your designated specialty for this year with the word provided below and present it on September 12 to the rest of your year.**

**Checkpoint dates are stated in the PDF and the timeline is attached as well.**

**See you in class,**

**Allura Altea**

**Principal at Voltron Academy of the Arts**

"Just look at this! I have to work for almost a month with him!" Lance whined as he sat in the living room, venting to Pidge who was on her laptop. 

"I swear you are on thin ice McClain. I expected a horror movie and you did not deliver," Pidge said, not even looking at him and focusing on her laptop. 

"Okay, fair enough," Lance sighed. "But our word is 'grief' like what type of grief are me and Vampire Ballet supposed to share?" Lance asked as he let himself dramatically fall on the couch. 

"If you are right about him being annoying, then I guess you can share that in common," Pidge responded, Lance throwing a throw pillow at her, making Pidge growl. 

"Why are you so bitter about it? It's not like he's done anything," Pidge then said. 

"I don't know," Lance said, suddenly going silent. 

 "Lance, you know you don't have to act like everything is fine," Pidge said, closing her laptop. "What happened last year," she continued. "You don't  _have_ to be over it. No one is saying you have to act like you are fine."

"I'm fine. He's not even in our dorm. Let's stop talking about it," Lance quickly said. 

"Okay, well want to go down to the beach? You can start finding some 'grief' filled inspiration," Pidge joked and Lance nodded. 


	4. /adj/ different /n/ enviroment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance get to know each other and Lance tries to fight off his gay panic.

This was different. It was very different from what he was used to. It was definitely a much smaller school, but there were still so many people everywhere. On the way to the dance social there were artists, actors, some students just singing out in the open through campus. 

Everyone looked so simple, like they just belonged there. Like they knew they belonged there. 

And well Keith, he didn't even know that was even an option for him yet. 

He was with his dance 'group'. He learned that his dorm was the dorm that had the students related to music and dance specialities in it. They were the second dorm, the building beside them had more students in it, mostly mixing music production and singing people. 

Lotor hadn't been very descriptive when explaining it to him. 

Lotor. 

Keith still didn't know how to feel about that. He was being so nice, but he didn't know why. He didn't deserve his kindness. He had ignored him for almost two years, yet he acted like nothing had changed between London and now. 

"So, you wear that every time you go outside?" A guy in the group asked him, referring to his mask. They were both behind in the group, the rest of the people following Lotor and chatting. 

"Yeah, it's a look," Keith responses, trying to sound cheery. 

"And you are Lotor's boyfriend?" The guy asked him and Keith flinched at the question. What was supposed to be his answer?

"Um-I,-," Keith stuttered as the guy grinned and groped his ass before moving up to the group. 

"Hey, Keith, come on," Lotor hollered and Keith tried to process what had just happened. He glared at the guy who acted as if nothing happened. 

Keith jogged up to the rest of the group and Lotor  wrapped his arm around his shoulder and continued talking, Keith just stayed silent and kept his distance from the guy. 

* * *

"That's no fair, the ball hit the sand," Lance yelled as Pidge picked up the ball. They had gone to the beach after the dancers had left, Jane tagging along to work with Pidge on some ideas for their project. 

"It was fair," Jane reported as she spectated, jotting down ideas in her notebook. 

"Whatever, I should probably start thinking about the project," Lance whined as he went to sit at the table they had picked. 

"Sore loser," Pidge said as she rolled her eyes and threw the ball at Lance's head. 

"Shut up," Lance groaned as he threw the ball back at her. "Still no fair you guys got an easy word, and you actually know each other."

"You should give 'Vampire Prima Ballerina' a chance," Pidge said, making Jane laugh. 

"Are you talking about Keith?" Jane asked, still giggling. 

"He's just so, different? Like he doesn't talk, but when he does it's just annoying. Plus whenever I am close to him he starts laughing like an idiot and it's just so annoying the way he does it because I can't stop looking at him. It's honestly the worst," Lance said, laying his head on the wooden table. 

"Sound like you like him," Pidge teased, making Lance jolt up. 

"I don't like boys, Pidge," Lance said, glaring. 

"Dean was an asshole, I don't think he counts as an actual man," Jane comments. Lance sighs.

"Can we talk about something else?" Lance asks as his composure changes, he's uncomfortable. 

Dean. He was the guy he 'liked' last year. Everyone knows about it. Everyone just thinks it was an end of the year, summer thing that they both just got bored of, but it made Lance sick every time he thought about it. Dean was horrible. 

He loved messing with people's feelings, and he was especially good at messing with Lance. So much, it was probably the longest relationship he had ever had. But that didn't mean anything to Dean, whcih is why Lance was staying off dating. He didn't want to go through that again. 

"Well Dean is a fuck boy, and the only thing keeping him from being a creep is the fact he dances ballet," Jane commented before going back to writing down ideas. 

"Okay, what else is 'happiness' other than what I got down?" Jane asked and Pidge went over to look at her list. They started talking about their project and Lance looked around the beach. 

 _Grief_. 

Lance hated their stupid word. Why couldn't it be anything other than 'grief'? Pidge and Jane got 'happiness' for goodness sake, and here he was trying to find grieful things, not to mention his partner seemed to not have any griefs except being annoyingly beautiful and perfect. 

Lance sighed as he got off the table and sat on the sand, looking into the ocean. 

_Maybe we could do something about the water? Water can represent the-ugh, I don't know what. I'm bad at coming up with stupid ideas._

His phone chimed before he could think of more bad ideas and he pulled it out of his pocket, dusting off the sand. 

 

**Unknown**

Hey, it's Keith. Lotor gave me your number. The dance thing is over, where are you, so we can talk about the project?

 

Lance didn't know if he should be thankful or not, but he just sighed and responded. It was better to get this project done as soon as possible. 

 

**Lance**

I'm at the beach the one by the dorms and the food hall

 

Lance awaited a response, but it never came so he just stared at his phone. He reread the texts and noticed how it was punctuated. 

_He punctuates his texts. There's something wrong with him. I feel I have to punctuate my texts now._

 

 

Lance just waits there. After a while, Pidge and Jane go get some food and Jane starts writing down some lyrics as Pidge goes to get some recordings. Lance thinks he heard them decide on making a music video. 

He is about to go get up to get some food himself when he sees Keith accompanied by some other guy, Dean. It's Dean right next to him. Lance's eye widen, and he didn't even focus on Keith, just noticed how Dean's mouth formed a grin as he waved goodbye. 

"Hey," Keith said, making Lance bring his attention back. "Lotor had to go see his partner, so he offered to show me how to find you. He's honestly a pervert," Keith said and Lance was definitely brought back to what was happening in front of him as he heard what Keith said. 

"Wait-what?" Lance asked and Keith flushed a little red as he rubbed the back of his head. 

"N-nothing?" Lance caught himself laughing at how awkward Keith was and fully forgot about Dean's stupid smile. 

"So, I saw you built the desk," Lance said as he leads Keith to the table where the rest of the group's stuff was. 

"Yeah," Keith replied as he set his dance bag down. He was dressed in black legging and he was weird a white tank top, from what it looked like, his hair was up in a messy bun. 

"No mask today?" Lance asked and Keith just shook his head, not giving a verbal answer. 

"So, any ideas?" Keith asked after a long pause of silence. 

"Well the word is 'grief', so anything happen in your life that's inspires grief?" Lance asked and Keith laughed, but caught himself and went quiet. 

"What?" Lance asked and Keith just shook his head. 

"N-nothing." Keith said and Lance just scoffed in annoyance. 

"If you have something to say just say it," Lance replied, maybe a little too harshly. 

"It's nothing," Keith replied. 

_We are getting nowhere like this. We are both so uncomfortable around each other._

"Okay, how about we play a game?" Lance asked as he got up from the table suddenly, making Keith look up at him. 

"I came to work on the project," Keith said.

"This is part of it," Lance said and Keith hesitated but nodded. 

"The cost of the beach runs three miles before it hits a dock. We are going to walk all the way down there, getting to know each other and walk all the way back," Lance said and Keith looked at him, not saying anything. 

"It's just a social exercise one of my teachers made us do one time for a partner project. And it helped us be able to talk and whatever, so maybe it can help us not hate each other," Lance said. 

"You hate me?" Keith laughed and Lance rolled his eyes as he just stuck his hand out, offering it to Keith to follow him. 

"If you don't stand up, I am going to hate you more," Lance said and Keith got up hesitantly, by himself. 

"Ok, so I'll start," Lance says, thinking for a while before speaking again. "Where were you born?" Lance asked. 

"New York," Keith says, as he walks a bit faster. He is shorter than Lance and he has to, so he can keep up and be ahead of him by a bit. 

"That's why you don't have Lotor's accent," Lance said as he mentally grinned at how Keith had to keep up with him. Keith just nodded and didn't speak after that. 

"Your turn," Lance prompted and Keith flinched a bit and looked at him. 

"Do you-Well do you walk the coast often?" Keith asked, trying to stray from personal questions. He didn't want to have to explain his past, and he hated having to lie about it. It was always hard keeping up with the lies. 

"Well, I got in with a dance scholarship, so I took dance classes last year, along with music. When I was stuck between choosing either one, I went to the coast a lot and I think the water and just the view gave me the inspiration to write songs, and play music. I don't know, it's just relaxing," Lance shrugged as he kept walking. 

"Relaxing?" Keith asked and Lance shook his head.

"That's two questions in a row," Lance said. "My turn. Have you ever danced in the ocean?" Lance asked. He didn't notice it before, but Keith was walking as far as he could from the coastline. They both had left their shoes behind, but Keith was only stepping on the damp sand, and not letting the water hit him. 

"No-And not because I'm scared-or anything like that. I don't like being outside," Keith said. it wasn't a total lie. He didn't like being outside because there were many pathogens and especially diseases one could get, especially from the sea. Maybe he was a bit more scared of the unknown than disliking of it. 

Keith turned away a bit, his face flushed and Lance looked at him. 

 _God, he's so adorable_.

Lance shook his head as he pushed away the thought. He had to stop thinking that way. Guys were off limits this year, and he didn't even know Keith either way. He was just confused; that's all. Keith was his roommate which he didn't even know, and his mind was just confused and that's why he was thinking like this. At least that's what he told himself. 

"So, why do you hate me?" Keith asked him, and Lance suddenly was plunged back into reality. 

"What?" Lance asked, not hearing entirely what was being said. 

"Well-Earlier you said you hated me, and just-I don't know. Nevermind," Keith said as he looked down as they continued walking. Lance chuckled and he could see Keith turn redder. Even though it was getting late, his face was definitely turning shades of pink. 

"I don't hate you," Lance said. "It's just you are so put together that it just frustrates me, I guess," Lance said.

Keith actually burst out laughing but stopped himself as Lance looked at him in shock. If there were more people around they would have looked at him in the same way, but this section was known to be more lonely because the teens are known to 'claim' the territory. 

"Well, it's true. You came from the Royal Ballet. I mean what are you doing here in California when you had the Royal Ballet? You say you were kicked out because of a discipline issue, but you barely even being able to form a sentence without stumbling over your words," Lance said, and Keith stopped walking. 

"Hey, sorry. That was harsh," Lance immediately said as he noticed Keith falling behind. 

"No-It's fine," Keith responded, looking out into the ocean. "You're right. I didn't get kicked out. I moved cause of my brother. He teaches here and- Well he wanted us to be closer; that's all," Keith said. "Family stuff."

"What's his name?" Lance asked. 

"Shiro," Keith said 

"Like Japanese word-recognized Shiro?" Lance asked, a bit in awe. He was one of the reasons he started dancing and once he listened to the music he used, it's what got him playing music. 

Keith nodded and Lance smiled.

"Couldn't you just stay with your parents though? If you didn't want to move all the way to California?" Lance asked and Keith didn't answer, still not making eye contact and looking out into the ocean. 

"Is it cold?" Keith asked instead, and it took Lance a minute to figure out what he meant.

"The water?" Lance asked for clarification, and Keith nodded, folding his arms. Lance looked at him. If he was being honest, he was going into a gay panic. 

Keith just looked so beautiful at the moment, his hair was up in a messy bun, his tank top blew in the wind a bit as he looked out into the blue blanket in front of them. It was also sunset, so it couldn't even be more perfect. 

"You don't have your phone, right?" Lance asked and Keith shook his head, looking at Lance. 

"I left it back at the table. Why-," Keith asked, turning around, shocked by Lance picking him up bridal style and running into the ocean. 

"Why don't we find out?" Lance smirked.

"Lance! Oh my god, Lance! Put me down!" Keith yelled as he realized he was about two feet from the water, Lance standing inside so his calves were in the ocean. 

"Put you down?" Lance teased as Keith instinctively tried to hold onto Lance tighter, away from the water. 

"Lance! If you drop me, I swear-," Keith began to say as Lance gave him a grin before letting him go. Keith gasped as he touched the water. 

"Calm down, germ freak," Lance said as he tackled Keith, making the boy underneath him squirm to get him off. 

"Lance, you idiot," Keith hissed as he splashed Lance, sitting up, Lance straddling him. They were just deep enough to where the water only covered their lower half as they sat down. 

"Well, is it cold?" Lance asked as he splashed Keith. 

"Just get off of me," Keith replied as he slapped Lance's hand away and pushed him off. 

"Hey, what was that for?" Lance asked, realizing he actually made Keith mad. 

"Let's just go back," Keith said as he started walking out of the ocean. 

"Dude! I just had an idea!" Lance said as he grabbed Keith's hand, forcing him to collapse against his chest. 

"Lance!" Keith yelled as he tried to pull away. 

"We could do a dancing in the water thing!" Lance said as he twirled Keith around. 

"Water expresses so many emotions, like sorrow, grief, and even happiness," Lance explained, moving Keith around so they were faintly dancing. 

"That's great! Can we talk about it, not in the ocean?" Keith asked, slapping Lance's hand, but failing to break free. 

"The water doesn't bite, Keith," Lance teased as he went behind Keith and grabbed his waist, trying to get him to dance. 

"Lance, what are you doing?" Keith asked, still annoyed. 

"You are obviously going to dance. I can write a song that expresses grief and I can even do special effects and lighting," Lance says as he lifts Keith, surprising the boy as he twirls around. 

"Okay, can we get out now?" Keith said as he kicked Lance, making him put him down. 

"At least give it a shot," Lance tried reasoning. Keith sighed as he walked further up the shore. Lance thought he was going to go back on land, but Keith started dancing slowly. 

As he continued, Lance joined in. 

They continued like that for a few minutes until Keith started shivering. 

"We should head back," Lance said as Keith nodded, he was holding his body as he folded his arms. 

"Ah, you shouldn't have worn those leggings," Lance commented. "I brought a change of clothes cause I was going to go shopping after this, but if you want you can use the pair of shorts as we walk to the dorms."

"Don't you want them?" Keith asked as a gust of wind blew by, making him almost collapse, Lance noticed. 

"I have a swimsuit on," Lance replied. "Hey, you don't look so well."

"Maybe if you hadn't thrown me into the ocean," Keith started saying before he sneezed. He looked almost terrified as his eyes widened. 

"You are probably going to get sick. We should get going," Lance said, but Keith was still standing with his eyes wide.

"Are you okay?" Lance asked and Keith seemed to be pulled out of whatever trance he was in and nodded. 

They walked for a few minutes before it was  _too_ quiet and Lance was getting impatient with the silence. 

"So you don't like outside?" Lance asked and Keith looked up, his arms still folded, trying to get warm. 

"What?" Keith said. 

"You said you don't like being outside, why?" Lance repeated.

"Oh," Keith said as he kept walking. "I was just always indoors and you know I'm a germ freak, so it's less  _dangerous_ ," Keith answered. 

"So you have always been a germ freak. Did you come out of the womb and you were like holding a bottle of hand sanitizer?" Lance asked. 

_What the heck? Why would you say that? Oh god, he's going to look at you like you are demented._

Keith chuckled instead. 

"Yeah," he simply said. 

"So you and Lotor?" Lance asked after a couple of seconds. 

_You shouldn't get into this. You shouldn't get your hopes up. Why did you have to bring it up?_

"What do you mean?" Keith asked, looking ahead instead of making eye contact. 

"Well, you know-nevermind," Lance said, not knowing why he asked in the first place.

"I don't really talk to people. I never did. Lotor was just there and was the first person my age that  _wanted_ to get to know me. He  _wanted_ to be around me even when everything went to shit," Keith replied. Lance just looked at him. Keith was blushing slightly and he noticed the twinkle in his eye as he talked about Lotor. 

_What did you expect?_

Still, he couldn't help but feel a little sad. 

"You sound shocked that someone would  _want_ to be around you," Lance said, trying to veer off the Lotor subject. 

"Oh," Keith said, not noticing how sad what he has said sounded. "I mean I guess it's mostly my fault. I never really talked to anyone so I guess I would understand why no one really _wanted_  to be my friend. But still everyone was just mean for no reason. Like what power did I have in the situation? I was literally dying and they didn't even make the effort to be my friend or think about how I would feel," Keith rambled. 

_This kid surprises me. He barely talks or he rambles. I feel like he hasn't been around people that much._

Keith seemed to notice what he was saying after a while and he shut up quickly, looking away. Lance wasn't even entirely listening after the first couple sentences, shocked by the amount of words Keith was mumbling.

"You don't really talk to many people do you?" Lance asked and Keith shrugged. 

"I guess," Keith responded. 

"You must be close to your parents or something then, or at least your brother if you were such a loner," Lance said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, his shorts were mostly dry by now. Keith was still damp though, but he was shivering less. 

"No, I'm not," Keith said flatly, wrapping his arms tighter around his arms. Lance wanted to ask why, but he felt it was overstepping. 

Unfortunately, he had a bad habit of being a bit clueless and not picking up on cues, so he asked anyway. 

"Why?" He asked, making Keith flinch a bit. 

"Just never really was," Keith said as he looked away, avoiding eye contact again. 

_He does that when he doesn't want to tell me stuff. He has done it a lot._

Lance picked up on that cue at least. he noticed the pattern. Keith would look away and start shutting down the conversation. 

"And you?" Keith asked, doing what Lance predicted, taking attention off of him. 

"Big family. All really close," Lance said, hoping it would be broad enough to bore Keith to talk about him instead. 

"There's the table," Keith said before Lance had the opportunity to ask another question. Lance nodded and ran up to his bag, pulling out the clothes he packed, handing them over to Keith. 

"Am I just supposed to change here?" Keith asked, awkwardly looking around. 

"Um, there are bathrooms in the food place, but it's a bit farther," Lance asked and Keith sighed. 

"Fuck it, I guess," Keith said as he grabbed the towel Lance had brought and wrapped it around his torso, allowing him to change his bottoms without exposing his underwear and himself to the world. 

Which honestly left Lance a little disappointed. 

Keith then grabbed the shirt and peeled off his own. As he got up, Lance noticed a mark on his hip and of course his idiot self went to touch it, making Keith flinch. 

"Lance, what the hell?" Keith yelled out, jumping a bit and swatting his hand off him. 

"Sorry, it just-you should treat that. I know you dancers are big on not treating injuries, but you should-," Lance began to say. 

"It's not that," Keith cut him off. 

"Well you should treat it either way," Lance said. 

"Okay, thanks for the concern," Keith sarcastically remarked as he stuffed his dance clothes into his bag and gave Lance his towel back, slipping on his shoes. 

"We should head back, it's almost curfew," Lance said and Keith nodded. 

They headed back, almost completely silent. Good thing the dorms weren't that far away. 

 


	5. /n/ brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets back from the beach, and someone comes to visit him.

This was weird. 

Keith and Lance ended up making it to the dorms on time, but not without the whole group being in the living room staring at them. 

"Are you wearing Lance's clothes?" Lotor asked him, and Keith could feel the  _real_ question in there. 

_What the hell happened?_

"Uh, well we were dancing in the ocean," Lance awkwardly said as the group giggled. 

"The ocean, like  _the ocean_? With disease?" Lotor asked, his tone was full of concern. 

"Yes, germ freak almost lost it," Lance joked and Keith started turning a bit red. 

"It was fine," Keith said. "I'm fine," he continued, almost reassuring Lotor who came close to him and hugged him from behind. 

"Get a room," Alex shouted from the TV. The rest of the group laughed, but Keith didn't understand what that meant entirely. 

He started noticing that he was very far behind in the mainstream culture. His only 'real' connection to the current trends was Lotor, and for the past two years he just had to listen to Shiro's dad jokes and references to older things. It didn't help that he didn't have any social media as well. 

After a while, Lance went upstairs to get cleaned up and Lotor followed Keith up to his dorm. 

"So you're okay," Lotor asked as soon as his door closed and Keith started breathing really fast. 

"Hey, hey," Lotor said quickly as Keith started freaking out. He had been holding it in the entire time. He didn't want Lance to see him like this. Everyone already thought he was weird. He knew by the way they looked at him, by the way Lance looks at him with pity sometimes. He didn't need to give them more reason, but now, alone with Lotor, he let himself freak out.

"There are so many germs in the ocean. And I was soaking wet and I walked for at least a few miles. I feel like I might have a fever. What if this triggers it, Lotor?" Keith starting rambling as he paced around the room. Lotor walked up to him and placed his head on his shoulder. 

"If you get sick, it's just going to be a cold," Lotor reassured as he turned Keith to face him. Keith sighed as Lotor brought his hands around his jaw. 

"You can't keep worrying about what is going to happen. For now, just enjoy being the best dancer at this school. Whatever happens later, will be dealt with," Lotor consoled him as he planted a kiss on Keith's forehead, bringing him into his chest. 

"I'm sorry," Keith breathed out. 

"For what?" Lotor asked. 

"I stopped writing back. I ignored you because I didn't want to worry you at first, but then I didn't know how to talk to you after so long," Keith mumbled. 

"Well, you were going through some stuff," Lotor reasoned. "I'm just glad you are okay now."

"Lotor," Keith said as he sunk his head deeper into his chest. "I don't deserve you."

"What are you talking about?" Lotor responded. 

"I mean it's just-Well-I am awkward. I don't know most of what's happening in the real world because I was in a hospital most of my life, and after that I ignored the world. I stopped talking to you for no good reason. I'm a ticking bomb just waiting to die-," Keith began saying, before Lotor pulled him back, grabbing him by his shoulders. 

"Keith," Lotor said and Keith looked up at him. 

"I'm sorry. It's just true," Keith meekly said. "Who knows when it may come back? Who says we won't be like this, just living, and out of nowhere my nose bleeds all over you again? What's stopping that from happening?" Keith continues, he's starting to tear up. 

"It doesn't matter what I do. Or what you do, or even Shiro or any doctors. Nothing can stop it from just coming back and ruining my life, ruining yours. I can't do that to you again. I don't want to do that to you again," Keith confessed.  "I think of how you welcomed me with open arms and everything, and I don't deserve that. You should be angry, you should be frustrated because I ignored you, but you are acting like you are fine," Keith added, at this point just rubbing at his face to wipe away a few tears. 

"Stop saying you don't deserve it," Lotor began, cutting Keith off. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "Sure, I was angry the first few months, but when I think about you, I know you. I know you don't like facing problems, you like to run away from them. I mean when you noticed symptoms at first, you ignored them. When you had to face me, you ignored me. I don't blame you for being a human who is scared. I won't. Because what you are saying is true," Lotor said. 

"I don't know when you might be taken away from me, but I'm not going to live my life just being angry, waiting for it to happen. I mean who says I won't go first? So stop thinking all this, and just let yourself be happy," Lotor said and Keith stayed quiet for a few seconds. He was about to speak, but Lance walked into the dorm. 

"We can talk after your shower," Lotor said as he walked out, pecking Keith's cheek as he did so. 

Lance almost glared at him, but Keith didn't really notice, he just stayed still. 

"You two should really get a room," Lance told him. 

_I don't know what that means._

"Okay," he just responded as he went to go get some clothes and his towel. Lance seemed to glare at him more after his response. 

_Maybe it's supposed to mean something bad?_

"Do you want me to wash your dirty clothes for you? I am going to put in a wash while you are in the shower," Lance offered and Keith nodded, silently going to get his clothes from his dance bag. They were just damp at that point. He noticed how his dance clothes were soaked as well. He just sighed though, and left them in there. 

Lance only offered to clean the originally wet clothes, and he didn't want to bother him even more. He really thought him and Lance would get along now, but he returned to acting the same way when he walked back in the room. He still didn't like him. 

"Can you also leave my clothes outside the bathroom so I can wash them?" Lance asked and Keith nodded again as he silently shuffled to the bathroom. 

As he went out into the hall, he was about to open the door when a hand was planted right before him, leaning against the wall, blocking his path. He looked up and it was the same guy who had groped him earlier. 

"Didn't know you were  _that_ type of guy," he said, looking down at Keith. Keith hated how short he was compared to him at that moment. It never made him feel inferior until he got out into society and saw he was below average when it came to height. Which in his opinion is unfair, his mother was a ballerina and his father was taller than her. 

"Um-Well, okay," Keith responded, not knowing what he was implying. 

"Well, everyone's planning to start a movie marathon downstairs before school starts tomorrow. You should come down," he said, getting close to Keith's face. 

"Okay," Keith replied, holding his towel and products in his arms, not making eye contact. 

"See you later, then," the guy said, petting Keith's head and walking away. Keith let out a deep breath as the guy left. He didn't know what it was, but something about him made Keith feel uneasy. Maybe it was the fact that he literally groped him, but he hadn't done anything just then. It was just unsettling. 

_Should I tell Lotor?_

He decided he would bring it up later if Lotor didn't seem concerned still. He didn't want to worry him over something that might not even be anything. 

Either way, he went inside the bathroom and inspected it. He hadn't put his stuff in it yet, but Lance had fully settled. There were different products on the shelves, a blue towel, and bath scrubs, one was labeled Lance. 

Keith looked at it as he stripped off his clothes and cursed as he noticed he had forgotten to bring his own products and scrubs, and not to mention a clean change of clothes. He looked at the pile of wet clothes he had taken off on the floor and then at himself in the mirror. He saw some healing scars from surgeries on his chest. The doctors said that with treatment and his age, they would heal almost completely. Now though, they weren't healed completely and would definitely raise suspicion. 

He took a deep breath and wrapped his towel around his torso. He shoved the pile of clothes outside the door, like Lance wanted and shuffled back to their room. Lance wasn't in there, and Keith used that to his advantage to quickly rush to his closet and  get a pair of boxers, pajamas, and his shower products.

He tied his towel around his hips to make it easier to get everything, the towel tedious to hold up as he rushed around the room. He had gotten everything he needed and was about to rush out until he bumped into someones on his way out the doorway. 

"What the-," the person said as Keith dropped everything he was holding. 

"Ah-Sorry," he apologized as he met Lance's eyes. He was about to apologize until he saw the look on Lance's face. 

"Oh," Lance simply commented as he glanced at Keith's body. He had seen the scars. Keith turned bright red as he went to the floor to grab everything, shoving everything in his arms and rushing out quickly. He all but slammed the door tot he bathroom once he got in, letting everything collapse on the floor. 

He turned on the shower, grabbed his clothes and let himself scream into the cloth. 

_Why am I so stupid? Now he's going to think I'm a freak. Why did I ever think I could be normal? I'm never going to be normal._

He then hung up his towel and stepped into the shower, placing all his products inside. As he showered, he started reciting a speech about why he was such an idiot to the wall. It made him feel better, but it didn't help once he heard a knock at the door. 

He ignored it at first, but then it got louder and Keith turned off the shower, grabbing his towel and stepping out. It was probably Lance telling him he was wasting water, or better yet asking if he was okay after seeing Keith's body. 

"Sorry, I'll be out in a second," he instinctively apologized as he sighed again, drying his hair. 

"Keith, it's me," Keith heard Shiro's voice say and Keith froze. 

"Shiro?" Keith asked as he dried himself quicker, slipping into his clothes and hanging up his towel on a hook, next to Lance's. He opened the door right after, seeing Shiro's face. 

"Hey," Shiro said. Keith was about to ask why he was here until he heard whispering in the halls of the dorm. They were talking about him, and why Shiro was talking to him. The people around were talking about him. 

"Can we talk outside?" Keith suddenly asked. "I'll come out on the porch in five minutes," Keith whispered as he did his best to try to act like he didn't know Shiro. The students in the hall seemed to be buying it, as they stopped giving him that judgmental, curious look. 

As he entered the room, Lance was on his bed. He looked up, and seemed to want to say something to Keith as he rushed to find his slippers. 

"Hey, Keith," Lance finally said, making Keith cringe. He really didn't want to talk about  _that_ right now, or any time. 

"Sorry-I forgot something in the-forgot on the porch. I will-I'm going to go really quick," he rushed to say as he zoomed out, putting on his slippers and rushing downstairs. 

_Why is Shiro here? Why did he come here? Everyone is going to wonder why a teacher is asking to see me. Why is Shiro so stupid sometimes?_

"Keith, are you going to watch the movie?" Jane asked him as she and everyone else stared at him. They were all gathered in the living room, popcorn and snacks all around the room, everyone cuddled somewhere. That guy that stopped him before was there too. 

"Um-I have to-forgot something on porch," Keith just said as he rushed out, hoping they would do the same thing Lance did and just ignore him. 

As he closed the front door and walked outside, he saw Shiro sitting outside, on a bench. 

"What are you doing here? Did something happen?" Keith asked and Shiro looked up. 

"Hello to you too," Shiro huffed out as he got up, smiling. 

"Uh-sorry," Keith replied, realizing how rude that sounded. 

"Well, you didn't call, and just wanted to check in on you," Shiro said as he stood up. "What's going on?"

"What-Did Lotor say something?" Keith asked, a little anger in his voice. 

"No, just wanted to know what my bro is up to," Shiro chuckled, lightly punching Keith's arm. "Can we talk?"

"It's past curfew. If I get caught, I will get in trouble," Keith said. 

"I'm a teacher here. I think they will forgive you," Shiro said, and Keith hesitated for a second, but nodded. 

* * *

 "The doctors told me everything was fine," Shiro said as they walked. 

"All clear, for now," Keith mumbled as he looked down. 

"You have to stop thinking like that," Shiro sighed as he went to sit down on a bus bench, the light providing visibility. 

"It's just scary, to-you know-," Keith tried to explain. 

"Scary to be hopeful?" Shiro asked and Keith nodded, leaning his head on Shiro's shoulder. He missed this, his brother. He had only been apart for two days, but for the whole month prior to moving, they hadn't done this. Talk, just talk. It was calming. 

"It's weird. There are so many people that know what their future will look like, but I don't even know if anything I do will matter in the future," Keith said as he leaned further into Shiro's shoulder, bringing his legs on up on the bench. 

"I know," Shiro responded. "But there's no guarantee on anything, Keith," Shiro said. "There could be a zombie apocalypse for all we know tomorrow," Shiro joked, running his hands through Keith's hair. 

"People keep saying that," Keith mumbled. "But there's a higher chance of my cancer coming back than a zombie apocalypse."

"Got me beat there," Shiro chuckled, making Keith laugh. 

"Am I going to see you tomorrow?" Keith asked. 

"Well your regular classes are with this teacher named Adam. He seems like a good teacher. He only teaches second years though. I teach the more advanced, so you will see me in your advanced classes. I am also running to choreo club this year," Shiro responded. 

"That's good," Keith hummed. There was a long pause before Keith spoke again."Shiro?" Keith said after a couple of seconds. 

"Yeah?" Shiro responded. 

"I'm scared," Keith said. 

"I know," Shiro sighed. 

"But actually. Even if nothing happens, dancers are taller. They don't have scars on their body, and they don't just  _quit_ the Royal Academy," Keith explained. 

"Most also don't battle a terminal illness as a child, and still be the best in their class," Shiro said, leaving Keith with something to think about. 

"Thank you," Keith mumbled, hugging Shiro. 

"The least I could do for my little brother," Shiro smiled, returning the hug. "We should head back. I'm already breaking the law by having you out here, don't want you to be tired tomorrow too."

"The school code isn't law," Keith chuckled. 

"Whatever, let's get you back."

They walked back, bickering about London stories. Keith kept asking Shiro about trends, and what certain phrases meant. Shiro laughed way too much at how red Keith turned after realizing the jokes the other kids were making about him and Lotor.

They soom reached the front of the dorm, and Shiro looked up at Keith who stood on the porch.

" What is the dorm doing tonight? They usually do some activity before the first day," Shiro asked. 

"Movie marathon," Keith replied, standing up and walking with Shiro. 

"You going to join in?" Shiro asked and Keith stayed silent. 

"I need to sleep, or I'm going to be tired tomorrow," Keith shrugged. 

"If you do, don't stay up too late," Shiro said. 

"Okay,  _dad_. _"_ Keith said. 

"I only do it out of love," Shiro rolled his eyes. 

"Sure, whatever you say," Keith said, walking down the steps and giving Shiro one last hug before turning away. He was about to go inside when Shiro spoke up. 

"I expect great things from you, Keith. No matter what you've gone through you are going to do amazing things. I  _know_ you are, so just start believing it too," Shiro said, making Keith smile and nod as he walked in. 


	6. /n/ it's /n/ me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What would you know?" Lance asked as he packed up his guitar. "Your body is literally covered in scars for some probably shady reason, you never talk about your family and Shiro showed up for no reason probably to check up on you. So you are obviously not fine either," Lance burst out.

He didn't understand at all.

_Why do I feel this way?_

Lance thought about it, but the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to stop thinking about it. It was honestly an ongoing and endless cycle. 

He didn't know why he threw Keith in the water, much less danced with him. It was a mistake.

After seeing the look on everyone's faces when they arrived from the beach, he was pulled back into reality. He was forced to remember Keith's face when he talked about Lotor, the way his lips forced a faint smile and he looked all warm and happy. 

It wasn't him making him feel that way, it was Lotor. He wasn't Lotor, so he had to stop thinking like that. But he also didn't want to return back to the cold way he treated Keith, so he decided he would stop trying to go out of his way to befriend him more than necessary. To stay passive in a way.

Keith seemed to start going back into his awkward shell as well, slightly lashing out when he got annoyed. Lance found it awfully cute, but he suppressed his feelings. It was better that way, better for them both.

* * *

 

It was the first week of school, and Keith was in all of his core classes. Lotor was only in two, the first two, leaving Keith and him to spend the last parts of their day on their own. Lance didn't know how he felt about that. 

"So you want to work on the project today?" Lance asked Keith, it was Friday. They had most of the choreography down, and Lance had started coming up with a beat. 

Keith nodded as he continued working on a math problem. It was their last class, calculus, they had both advanced their math credits. Lance did it by mistake, thinking he had to be ahead by a lot to get the scholarship, and ended up testing out of most of the maths, while Keith just proved to be really smart. 

 _What isn't he good at_ _?_

Lance seemed to constantly have to ask himself that question. 

To be honest, he had a lot of questions, but he had been avoiding time alone with Keith for that very reason. He didn't feel like he would like the answers. Like,  _what is up with you and Lotor? Why are there so many scars on your body? Why did your brother randomly show up? Are you okay? Why the hell are you actually perfect? Who gave you the right?_

All those important questions. He could no longer avoid it though when class ended and Keith stopped him. 

"Do you want to meet at the beach?" Keith asked. 

"The beach?" Lance asked, forgetting what for. 

"Oh-yes, the project. Yes. I have to get my instrument and drop it off at the dorm. You can go ahead," Lance said, and Keith nodded. 

"I'll meet you there, then," Keith reassured. 

* * *

"Why are you in such a rush?" Pidge asked as she saw Lance rush into the music department, going into the acoustic classroom. 

"I'm not," he simply answered. 

"Whatever, well where are you going?" Pidge asked as she followed Lance, holding the strap of her laptop bag. 

"Project with Vampire Prima," Lance said, slightly panting as he reached the music room, going to his locker. As he opened it, something slipped out. It was a photo. As he saw it his face paled, and he suddenly felt his stomach drop. 

"What is-," Pidge began to say as she looked at the picture, which was face down, and picked it up. It was of Lance, with tears in his eyes and a bruise on his cheek, fear in his eyes. He was looking straight into the camera. 

"Pidge-I-I-what-," Lance began to stumble through his words as he got his instrument, leaving his locker unlocked and rushing out. 

"Lance, we have to do something! He can't do this! Lance!" PIdge yelled, finally catching up as Lance turned into an empty hallway, he was throwing up in a trashcan. 

"Pidge, he-why?" Lance asked and Pidge just held the picture. 

"Do you want me to shred it?" Pidge asked. 

"Please," Lance sighed as he coughed. Pidge pulled out a tissue packet and handed some to Lance for him to clean his face. 

"I'll report it. I can hack into the system and give proof he did it. He-," Pidge began to devise. 

"No, it's fine. That's what he wants. It's fine. It was last year and I will be fine," Lance mumbled. 

"You just threw up, Lance," Pidge tried to reason. 

"Need to go. Project with Vampire Ballerina," Lance mumbled again as he wiped his mouth with a final tissue and walked back into the music room where he had left his instrument.

"I'm going with you, and I'm calling Hunk," Pidge said, and Lance didn't even try to protest. 

He knew in truth, he wanted them there. But did he really want to deal with the issue? 

"Lance," Pidge then said as she called Hunk, he phone dialing. 

"Please," Lance said. "I don't want to talk about it. Please get rid of it."

Pidge looked like she wanted to say something, but Hunk answered, and she was forced to simply just nod in understanding. 

As Lance managed to go back, he tried to get himself to smile. It helped somewhat. The feeling of a smile on his face made it seem like it was okay, like he was okay, so he tried to do it continuously, until he heard a buzz from his pocket.

 

**Prima**

Are you close?

 

Lance sighed as he realized the whole situation was making him late to meeting Keith. He questioned himself a bit if he should cancel. It was tiring to pretend everything was okay. 

 _Not like I haven't done it before_.

He laughed weakly at his thought. It was pathetic, he was pathetic. He seemed to be the only affected by what happened with Dean. It frustrated him, the way everyone that was with him could just keep it together, or not be affected by anything. He knew it was a bad thought, but he hoped others were pretending to just be fine like he was, or maybe Dean was still messing with them. 

_I'm horrible for thinking that. I freaking deserve this if I wish that upon anyone. I don't actually. Do I? I mean it would be nice to know I'm not the only one that is messed up. But, maybe it's better this way. What are you saying? Of course it's not._

"Lance," Pidge called into the room. "Are we going?"

"Yeah, I'm just getting a few more things." Lance responded as he looked into his locker for a little while. He tried to push the thought out of anyone seeing the picture before he came. It was just lying in there. Music lockers were't like the traditional ones, they were just bars with a lock. Anyone could have looked for long enough and seen something. Right?

"Lance," Pidge repeated, walking into the room, catching the sight of Lance just staring at his locker, his instrument in his hand, still. She knew what he was thinking. It pained her to even try to have perspective on what he could be feeling. "No one saw it," Pidge comforted, trying to make herself sound convicing. 

"You don't know that," Lance said as he seemed to still be in his phase of shock. 

"Lance, we should go if you want to catch Prima," Pidge brought up, maybe that would have been enough to pull Lance out of the room. "If you don't want to, I'm sure you can just cancel. Say something came up. I will cover for you," Pidge said ad there was silence. 

Silence until a phone buzzed. 

**Prima**

There are too many people. You jerk, I am going to leave. 

 

Lance chuckled as he read the text and he finally was able to pull his body from it's stance. 

"We should go. Don't want to keep Prima waiting," Lance said abruptly. Pidge didn't question it.

* * *

"I swear did you forget about me?" Keith asked as he spotted Lance. He was sitting on a picnic table on the beach. His hair was up in a messy bun, his shirt was a dull red t-shirt, and he was wearing Capri black leggings.

"Sorry, I held him back for some music thing. I needed a musician's opinion," Pidge chuckled as she awkwardly rubbed her head, trying to make the lie more believable. It was a good thing, Keith wasn't very aware of very obvious things, despite how observant he could be. 

"Oh, was it for your project-or something-something like that?" Keith asked, strangely stumbling over his words. Lance would have made fun of how sitting outside for so long was making his teeth chatter, but he didn't have the willpower to do so. 

"Yeah, Hunk is going to come in a bit, he wants some tips for his project. Wants me to do some sound thing, so we will probably be in the cafe," Pidge said as she eyed Lance, giving a small, almost unnoticeable, nod of reassurance. Lance responded with a similar gesture, signaling he was okay at the moment. 

"So, where do you want to start?" Keith asked as he got up. 

"Um, well, did you work on the music?" Lance asked and Keith looked at him weirdly. 

"The choreo you mean?" Keith asked. 

"Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry I was thinking of Pidge's project. So did you-anything new?" Lance asked as he sat down. Keith was oblivious, but this was definitely not normal.

"I think I got a couple of counts that match up with what you have for the beat. I looked at the lyrics you has set up for the verse and I ran it by Shiro. It's still not perfect, but I think it's good for now," Keith responded. Maybe it was just him noticing something off. He didn't want to bring anything up, partly cause he wasn't entirely sure there was something wrong, and also he didn't know what he would even say. 

He learned he wasn't the best with people.  _Shockingly._

"Oh, that's good. Do you want to show me?" Lance asked. 

"Here? Don't you want to go to the usual place? There's less people," Keith suggested.

"Yeah, that's what I meant," Lance said, jittery as he got up, taking his stuff with him as they started walking along the coast.

"So I was thinking that while I am dancing, you could be singing live and playing your guitar or some instrument. Since you can sing and it would be good for you to show off your talent," Keith said. Lance would definitely use this as an opportunity to boast about himself. 

_So why isn't he boasting about himself?_

"That sounds good," Lance replied, continuing to walk. 

"Lance," Keith suddenly said, only receiving a questioning hum in reply. "Are you-well did something happen?" Keith asked, wanting the answer to be no, for Lance to say he was just tired or something. 

"No, nothing-why do you ask?" Lance replied, almost seeming a little defensive by Keith even bringing it up.

"You just seem- you seem off," Keith admitted.

 _Was that too harsh? Is he going to get offended? Oh god, it looks like he is going to cry?_ "

"I'm fine," Lance said. 

_Like hell you are. Do I pry? Should I ignore it? I mean he obviously doesn't want to talk about it. But I NEVER want to talk about anything to anyone, but it helps. I should make him at least tell me a little bit. If anything, I tried at least._

"Lance, you know I know we aren't close. But I mean-if you-if there's anything you want to talk about, you can say something," Keith tried, his voice never sounded so awkward. He definitely did not know how to do this. Shiro was the people-person. He was just good at ballet and staying indoors. 

There was silence until they got to their spot, they sat down in the sand, Keith started stretching while Lance just looked at the water for a while. 

"If-well I have this friend back home and just something happened to them. They were with this person that was well- they weren't very nice. They would sometimes hit them and as a way to get them to not say anything, they took photos as blackmail. My friend-well he-they-thought that it was all over because they broke up on somewhat good terms over the summer. But the person recently has brought up the photos and well- my friend is just in- they don't really know what to feel," Lance explained, Keith was still the whole time as he got out of his splits. 

_Shit, what do I say?_

"Photos? Like-." Keith asked, his mind resorting to the worst he could think of. 

"No-no, not that kind of photos," Lance corrected, his face turning red. "Just-photos of them with bruises, looking terrified, just beat up, crying," Lance clarified. 

"Lance-they need to talk-well go to the police," Keith said, and Lance sighed. 

"That seems to be what everyone told them when they first found out. I mean I told them that too. It would be the rational thing to do right?" Lance asked, Keith nodded as he sat criss-crossed, Lance still staring out into the ocean. 

"But what if they are scared? They tell me that the pictures could get out. They are an artist too. That type of thing could ruin their career, their future. They have worked so hard to get where they are. They can't just give that up so easily," Lance added, still not looking at Keith. 

"What does the other person want from them? Do they want to get back together?" Keith asked. Lance was silent for a few seconds. 

"My friend thought they ended it peacefully. They don't know what the person wants, probably just wants to scare them," Lance said. 

"Well, I would try not to make a scene-I guess. Just, try to ignore it if they don't want the police involved, but it could get worse. What if your friend is in danger? Does anyone else know about this?" Keith asked, genuinely trying to help at that point. 

"They have only told me exactly what happened. My friend said they didn't want to tell their close friends at school the whole truth. They only know that the person was-not nice," Lance added. 

"Abusive? Their friends only know that they were in an abusive relationship?" Keith clarified, making Lance flinch. 

"They say it's not abuse, they just had a lot of anger issues," Lance tried to correct. 

"But you told them that it's abuse right? It sounds like they are in denial of what really happened," Keith said, pulling that straight out of a television show he watched. He managed to perk up a bit. It felt nice to have Lance entrust him with something that was troubling him. 

"Yeah," Lance said curling in on himself. "Of course."

"But I don't know, it's a shitty situation to be in. Good thing your friend has you. You seem like you would have good advice, plus I mean you seem like you want to help them. What have you told them?" Keith asked. 

_Am I acting too chill? Should I be more panicked? I mean he just confessed to me that his friend was abused. Should I be crying? Why do I not feel the need to cry? This is sad, I should be sadder._

"I-well I-I didn't really know what to say. They just told me how they were feeling. How scared they were. They said that they just feel alone because it's not something you can just tell anyone, you know?" Lance said and Keith looked at the distant look in his eye. Keith nodded. 

"You know, we can work on the project later, maybe tomorrow. If you want to go call them or something, or just take some time-," Keith said as he started getting up, Lance spoke first though. 

"No, we should really work on the project. It's due soon, plus we worked on things we should probably add to the piece," Lance said, making Keith hesitantly resume stretching. 

"Lance," Keith said, unsure if continuing to work on the project was the best idea. 

"I recorded myself singing the lyrics, so we can play them and you can try dancing to it, okay?" Lance instructed and Keith looked at him. Keith nodded. If Lance said he was fine, it was best not to pry. He knew how it felt when people pitied you. It isn't what he would have wanted, and he thinks it's best if he assumes that it's not what Lance would want either. 

Keith got positioned in the water, breathing in slowly as he felt the coldness travel throughout his body. He wasn't scared anymore of the water.

_Progress, Shiro would call it._

He stood, his arms and legs in the starting position, waiting for Lance to play the music. It started off harshly, Keith adding emotion to the dancing, changing positions as the beat went on. As his dancing got more complicated he got closer to the shore, letting him have more control, not having to resists the water's depth. 

They got past the verses they had already worked through within thirty seconds, and the new verses started playing, making Keith have to pause and dance slowly to implement his moves into it. He stopped completely as he stopped to listen to the lyrics. 

_Just cause you have scars, doesn't mean you always show them_

Keith looked at Lance as he danced. Suddenly the recording stopped and he heard Lance's guitar and his voice fill the air around them, their little secluded area where they practiced. 

"Just cause you know them, doesn't mean they know you," Lance sung. "With every open wound, With every sense of your pride. With all the strength that you have. You hope you make it by," Lance continued, Keith eyeing how his face contorted. "You think you will make it through."

_Those aren't the words. It was supposed to be, "You have to make it by, you know you will make it through."_

It sent chills down Keith's spine as he stood in the water, looking at Lance. 

"You hope-," Lance said, his voice breaking as he stopped playing, looking down at the sand, at the water. 

"Lance," Keith said, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. His hand shook as the wind made his wet clothes colder.

"Sorry, I-I don't know what happened," Lance apologized as he set his guitar back in its case. Keith thought. He didn't want to suggest to stop working because Lance would only be more reassured that something was definitely wrong, and he was definitely showing it. 

"Could you tell me if you like the moves I choreographed?" Keith said, drawing off attention on what just happened and going back in the water, gasping as he adjusted to the temperature again.

Keith danced, saying instead of singing the lyrics as he did each move. The lyrics of the  _original_ song, the less sad version of it. Lance didn't say anything. But Keith could tell he was trying to seem okay, his weird attempts at smiling shining through. 

To end it, Keith went back to the original position in the water, but instead of looking down he looked up to show how the song had a powerful conclusion. It was supposed to be a happy end. Lance seemed indifferent to it despite their decision to have the song progress from grief and what good can come from it. 

"What do you think?" Keith asked, not hoping to get much of an response other than a shrug or a hum. 

"I-I think it's unrealistic," Lance said. "The song, the topic," he continued. 

"What-what do you mean?" Keith asked, grabbing the towel he had brought in his bag and drying himself off.  

"Our word is grief so shouldn't it be about what happened when you are in grief, when you are sad. People don't go from being sad to being happy in the duration of three minutes," Lance argued. 

"So you want to make it sad?" Keith asked.

"Just, just more realistic. Like maybe just-sad things happen, bad things happen and it's hard to deal with them. Everyone always talks about getting better, but what about  _not_ getting better? What about the part where you are just stuck?" Lance brought up. 

"So 'it's okay to be sad' type of thing," Keith said. 

"More of, it's okay to not know how to deal with grief," Lance replied. 

"So what do you have in mind?" Keith asked and Lance looked at the water. 

"You always go to the edge towards the end to have more control, so the water lets you move easily. To show that you have more control towards the end of the song. What if we reverse it to where you lose control, you get deeper into the water," Lance suggests. 

"That's some emo, dark stuff," Keith laughed lightly as he got up.

"I can change the words. It will be a new take on it. A more genuine take on it," Lance said. 

"Shouldn't we at least show some happy stuff? I mean yes we get sad, and we are sad, and blah blah, but isn't it better to show that we can be happy too even when we are in 'grief'?" Keith said. 

"But it's not the truth," Lance said. "People don't just get happy," Lance added. 

"But it's not impossible. I mean is being sad all there is after something bad happens?" Keith argued. He was recently trying out this positive mindset Shiro and Lotor were instilling in him. He didn't quite believe it, but he was trying. 

 _Really trying._   _For them._

"What would you know?" Lance asked as he packed up his guitar. "Your body is literally covered in scars for some probably shady reason, you never talk about your family and Shiro showed up for no reason probably to check up on you. So you are obviously not fine either," Lance burst out. Keith looked at him with wide eyes as he let the towel fall on his shoulders. 

"I never said  _you_   weren't fine, Lance," Keith replied, coldly. "And my life is none of your business. I'm sorry if a lot is happening in your life, but don't take it out on me. As you said, my life is shitty too, so how about we leave it at that?" 

"You are feeling angry even right now, but you are not yelling at me. You are acting as if everything is fine. Everyone just acts like everything is fine when it's not. How am I supposed to feel when I can't do that? I can't act like everything is fine all the time. I'm so tired of acting like everything is fine," Lance yelled, letting his body collapse onto the picnic table where his guitar was set down on. 

Keith was stunned into silence. He really wasn't Shiro, he didn't know how to respond. 

"Why aren't you yelling at me?" Lance sighed, as he let his head fall on his folded up arms. 

"I don't know," Keith replied as he waited for Lance to calm down. 

"Keith, I don't know what to do," Lance said after a couple beats. 

"About your friend?" Keith asked, gently as he curled the towel around him more, his legs were getting cold. 

"What-oh-yeah, my friend," Lance replied. "It's scary. I'm sorry for yelling. I'm just-I don't know either," Lance added, his tone sounding sadder as he spoke. 

"Well, it's scary. You don't know for sure what's going to happen. Life is scary like that, but you can't worry about it so much, I guess."

_Easier said than done you genius. You literally just quoted Lotor, pulled that straight out of your ass._

"I just am so scared. Anything could happen. What if he hurts me-my friend again? What if they can't do anything about it? What if the pictures get out and everyone knows how weak they are, how stupid and naive and pathetic and utterly-," Lance rambled before Keith put a hand on his shoulder. 

"They aren't," Keith said. "How were they supposed to know what bad thing could have happened? Your friend seems like they are going through the phase of figuring out what to do, but they might just need time to grief, time to think about it rather than try to fix it." As Keith spoke, it was almost like he was realizing it himself, putting what Lotor had told him before into words. 

Lance hummed in understanding. He didn't know that Keith didn't believe himself, he just needed to feel better. 

"That's what I think the piece should be about," Lance mumbled. "Time to grief, just think about what caused the grief."

Keith thought about it, and nodded. 

It was almost perfect, it seemed like they had found the actual meaning to word now, before they were merely scratching the surface.

They sat there awkwardly until Lance spoke again. 

"Thanks," Lance said as he got up. "It helped, so thank you. Thanks for not yelling at me."


	7. /n/i /v/needed /n/ this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That just makes it scarier. That you can do all those stupid things just because you think you love someone, because you think they love you," Lance continued, grabbing his blanket and forming a cocoon around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a hot month, sorry about that.

"Life your leg a little higher," Lance said as he gently pushed Keith's leg up higher as he held his arabesque. 

 _He is really flexible,_ Lance thought.

They had gotten to choreographing the dance after they established their idea. If Lance was being honest, he loved the new idea they thought of. And it helped him get his mind off the current problem, Dean and the picture he has found on his way to the beach. 

"And then afterward I can do a calypso after the step sequence," Keith said as Lance adjusted his leg. 

"You might slip, and the sand isn't stable enough for you to do anything extravagant," Lance said as he was satisfied with Keith's form and stepped back to watch Keith add the step sequence. 

"We should do it on a stage then," Keith suggested, "We can make it rain faintly, so it's safe, and it doesn't have to flood the stage until the end because that's when the moves get less complicated anyway," Keith continued as he redid the step sequence. 

"Maybe," Lance said as he marked the dance himself. 

"We can even ask Pidge, she probably knows how to do extra special effects and all of that," Keith said before he slipped and fell into the water, coughing as he swallowed some sea water. Lance went rushing towards him and helped him up. 

"Hey, don't talk while you dance. You will get hurt," Lance said, and Keith rolled his eyes. 

_He's so cute._

"You sound like-," Keith began to say. "Nevermind."

"Like who? Were you about to insult me?" Lance asked, overexaggerating how offended he was. 

"Shiro, my brother," Keith answered, getting back to marking through the piece. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot you are related to him," Lance said, Keith flinched slightly, but he didn't notice. 

"Yeah," Keith mumbled. 

"So, I know I was a jerk to you about it before, but why did he come to the dorms?" Lance asked. "Is he going to come more often, maybe he could check out our dance next-," Lance began to say before Keith landed one of the moves, purposely making a big splash that wet Lance. "Hey!" Lance yelled, but Keith didn't respond. 

"He is just protective," Keith said as he got out of the water. "I think we should head back. It's getting dark, and I'm cold."

Lance nodded as he got out, drying himself off with a towel and grabbing all his stuff. He flipped out his phone to check any messages. 

"Pidge said that she and Hunk went back to the dorms for dinner. Lotor asked if you were alive because you weren't answering your texts," Lance said, his voice changing tone as he read the texts from Lotor out to Keith, who just turned red and laughed. 

_Sometimes I really hate the fact he's dating someone._

"He also gets worried a lot," Keith responded as he typed rapidly back to Lotor. 

"You are a really fast typer," Lance commented in awe. 

"Oh, well I learned how to when staying in a hos-inside a lot," Keith said. Lance just nodded as they walked all the way back to the dorms. 

 

* * *

 

The minute they entered the house they were greeted with the smell of dinner which apparently looked like burgers from the beach cafe. 

"Hey," they both heard Lotor say as he entered the room, holding fries in one hand and giving Keith a kiss on the cheek. "I ordered you a normal burger if you want to eat after you shower," he said as he put the fries down and helped Keith with his bags, already going up the stairs to the third floor. 

"Lotor!" Keith said as Lotor took off. "I can do it myself, come back, oh my god," Keith sighed as he chased after Lotor, leaving Lance in shock to what he witnessed. 

_Why are they actually so cute?_

Lance sighed as he walked into the kitchen. Keith would take a while to shower, and plus he could hear Hunk's voice in the kitchen and he wanted to at least greet him. He hadn't seen him in so long. As soon as he walked in he already had Pidge yelling at him. 

"Okay, tell Hunk that Holt is a sexier last name than Fitzgerald," Pidge said and Lance put his bag down on one of the chairs. 

"Of course it's not," Lance responded almost immediately. 

"Okay think about my brother," Pidge said. "His name is Matthew Holt, and then compare that to Scott Fitzgerald. Like it doesn't even compare. The first one sounds like he would be in Men in Black while the other one sounds like he could be a dad," Pidge said as she rolled her eyes, finishing her fries.  

"Okay that's not only disturbing to think about your brother as _sexy_ , but you are making a generalization about dads," Hunk responded. 

"They've been at this for ten minutes," Jane said as he sat at the window couch, typing away at her laptop. 

Lance was about to answer until he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"Hey, can we talk?" he heard an awfully discernable voice ask, and he flinched away, turning around to face Dean's eyes. 

Pidge and Hunk suddenly stopped arguing and Pidge looked like she was going to claw his eyes out if he dared to touch Lance again. 

"I have to go shower, maybe later," Lance said as he went to grab his bag, but Dean grabbed it instead, wrapping it around his shoulder as he spoke again. 

"Lance," he said and Lance could feel his throat close up. 

"Dean, I haven't seen him in so long, don't take him away from me," Hunk suddenly said as he went to hug Lance, straying away from the oh so important argument he was having with Pidge. 

"It's quick, I think he can-," Dean said, but Pidge went over and took the bag from him. 

"I'm putting a wash in. I was waiting for Lance to come home, can I take the clothes out?" Pidge asked as she already had Lance's bag in her hands. 

"Okay, well later," Dean said. "I'm sure you will be free," Dean added as he smirked and walked through the archway that led to the main entrance. The sounding of footsteps on the stairs could be heard as Pidge put the bag down. 

"What was that?" Jane asked as she closed her laptop, the tension thick in the room. 

"What was what?" Pidge asked, fully knowing what she meant. 

"Don't do that. You literally just-," she said before she looked at Lance. "Hey, are you okay?" Jane asked, seeing how pale he was in Hunk's grasp. 

Lance didn't speak, and he gently pushed Hunk's arms off of him. 

_I am about to have a panic attack. I need to get to my room._

"Can you actually wash my clothes, Pidge? Thanks," Lance said as he stormed off, trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible. Before anyone could say anything he was already up to the second floor. He was about to get up the third floor until he got pulled back, tripping on a few of the bottom steps down to the floor. 

"Lance," he heard the person say, the one who had pulled him back. 

_Go away. Leave me alone. Why are you doing this to me?_

"Dean, I need to go take a shower. I have a lot of homework to do before tomorrow."

"Don't lie to me. You always finish all your homework in class," Dean stated as he helped Lance up, gripping his wrist. 

_Making sure I don't run for it._

"Stop," Lance said as he pulled his hand away. 

"I don't want a repeat of last year, Lance," Dean said and Lance's eyes widened. 

"Don't threaten me," Lance responded as he looked back at Dean, his stupid smile making his stomach turn. 

"Did you get my present?" Dean asked and Lance's eyes widened again, and he did the only thing he could think of. 

_Run._

And he did, all the way back to his dorm. The first thing he did was lock the door and then pace around, trying not to throw up. 

He was thankful now for how large the dorm buildings were, or more importantly how Dean's dorm was in another building. He basically lived in the second dorm building though, since most of his friends were in it. Unfortunately, Lance was also in it, which didn't work out well. 

It wasn't even a matter of seconds until he heard knocks at the door. 

"Lance, it's Hunk," he heard and he didn't answer, having built a crippling void of emotions on the floor as he laid on his back. 

"I'm fine. Just waiting for Keith to finish," Lance responded. 

"He's been done. He's in Lotor's dorm. It's like watching two middle schoolers having a sleepover. He's braiding Keith's hair and doing face masks," Hunk said. "They asked me to join, want to come?" Hunk asked. 

Lance liked how he managed to do that, being his friend for so long, always lightening the mood. But right now, he didn't want to talk to have to put on a face. He didn't want to act as if everything was okay. Most importantly, he didn't want to go outside and possibly face Dean. 

Regardless, he got up and unlocked the door, letting Hunk inside and then closing the door again. 

"Lance," Hunk said, as he immediately hugged him. 

"Hunk, why?" Lance said as he dug his head into the crook of Hunk's shoulder. It had been so long since he had seen his friend. He needed this. He needed his friend. 

"He's a jerk, and if he tries anything I'm legit calling the cops and having him arrested," Hunk said and Lance chuckled, slightly because sadly there was some truth to it. "Lance, I know Pidge always says this, but you don't have to be fine. I mean if you don't want it to get out, we understand, but if you want to talk about it, we are here. We aren't going to leave no matter what you have to say."

"It's bad Hunk," Lance says. 

"We don't care," Hunk responds. Lance sighs as he pulls away and goes to sit on his bed, curling his knees up to his chest. 

"He just," Lance starts. "I don't know what he wants from me," Lance says as he voice suddenly breaks. "It-well it was fine in the beginning. I-well-I was fine, everything was fine, but he just. Hunk, I don't know. I don't know why he is like this, and I don't know why it happened to me. He acts fine around everyone and I can't do anything about it because of that. I can't just scream when he touches me, I can't just run away because people don't know what he's like."

"I feel horrible, and I know it isn't my fault, but I feel so stupid for letting it go on for so long," Lance continues, rubbing at his eyes as a steady stream starts falling from his eyes. 

"Lance, of course, it's understandable to feel guilty, and yes maybe you can find it reasonable to blame yourself, but look at it in the scope of things. It isn't reasonable, really. He was manipulating you, hurting you, you couldn't have known better in that type of situation," Hunk consoled, bringing a tissue box to Lance's side. 

"That just makes it scarier. That you can do all those stupid things just because you think you love someone, because you think  _they love_ you," Lance continued, grabbing his blanket and forming a cocoon around him. 

"It does, but not everyone is like that," Hunk adds. "I mean look at Lotor and Keith. I just met them today and they look like a married couple. Love can be good, not everyone is a freaking psychopathic manipulator like Dean. Which if anytime you feel like outing him for being a horrible human being, I will be more than willing to help," Hunk said, making Lance laugh. 

"Just make sure I don't do anything stupid like that again. Don't let me fall in love like that again," Lance said. 

"That sounded so emo, " Hunk joked as they continued to talk for the rest of the night. 

 


	8. /adv/ painfully /adj/ silent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Adam?" Shiro then said as he took the phone from Keith and put it on speaker. "Did something happen?"
> 
> "Shiro?" Adam could be heard and his voice sounded weak. 
> 
> "What the hell is happening? Lance?" Keith yelled, the anger from the previous argument still in the air.

**Dear students,**

**We have received your video checkpoints, and I and the rest of the department leaders have decided that this year the project will be a year-long assessment of what you learn throughout the year. We thought long about our decision, and after seeing the talent that has come in from just a few weeks in school, we can't imagine what a whole year of learning will amount to.**

**What this will entail, is that you will be continuing to work on this project for the rest of the year until the last few weeks of school. We have yet to choose a deadline, but it will be somewhere in the May-June area, so be on the lookout for further details.**

**We hope this gives you time to fuel your creative minds and implement what you learn this year into this project.**

 

**See you in class.**

**Allura Altea**

**Principal at Voltron Academy of the Arts**

 

"What do we think of this?" Lotor asks as he stops reading the email out loud to Keith who is stretching on the room's floor. He had slept in Lotor's room, his roommate having slept in the living room during a movie marathon, and Lance spending the whole night talking to Hunk.  **  
**

"That I am going to get so sick having to practice dancing in water during the winter," Keith says as he gets up to touch his toes.

"It's California, Keith. It doesn't get cold here," Lotor chuckles as he sets his phone down and gets behind Keith when he rises up, pulling him into a hug. 

"I did facemasks and let you braid my hair, don't add hugging to it," Keith whined, he didn't fight it though. 

"You love it," Lotor teased as Keith blushed. He did. 

"Let me stretch, you idiot," Keith says, rolling his eyes as he goes into his splits. He groaned as Lotor put music on. 

"Do you really hate my taste that much?" Lotor asked as he turned it up louder. 

"Yes," Keith said as he continued stretching. 

"Well one of these days I'm going to make you a mixtape, and you will  _love_ it. It will be custom just for your depressing, sad music taste," Lotor teased. 

"Please don't, and my music taste is not depressing."

"It's all instrumentals and songs that go in those scenes with the main character is looking out a window while it's raining," Lotor teased again, making Keith roll his eyes once more. 

"I hate you."

 

"Do you want to go out to eat today, at least?" Lotor asks as he pouts, going to put his hair into a bun. 

"I have to go to the doctor today. They said they want to check for anything after a week of school and this new weather and whatever," Keith said. "Shiro said he was picking me up."

"Okay, but you owe me dinner then," Lotor said as he changed out of his pajamas and into some dance clothes. 

"Where are you going?" Keith asks as he continues stretching. 

"I want to finish the charting for my project today, or at least for what we have. My roommate and I planned to do it this morning, and now that the deadline got pushed back there's more time to plan and make it actually something nice," Lotor responded as he slipped on a light jacket. 

"Hm, cool," Keith said, and Lotor laughed. 

"You are the most socially awkward person I have ever met, even with me," Lotor said as he bent down to Keith's level on the floor. 

"Leave me alone," Keith rolled his eyes. 

"Can you give me a kiss goodbye at least?" Lotor asked, and Keith gave him a big sigh before pressing their lips together. Lotor was smiling through the kiss and prolonged it by lacing his fingers through Keith's hair. It was only the fifth time they had ever both willingly and truly kissed each other. The other times were Lotor catching Keith off guard and Keith pushing him away, or chaste kisses that lasted no more than half a second or two.

Plus, Keith initiated it; that was even rarer. 

Suddenly the door opened though, and Keith shoved him off, resulting in a sharp yelp as Lotor accidentally pulled his hair in the process. 

"I-Well I was going to ask if you wanted to cancel our practice today cause the deadline got pushed back for the project. I actually wanted to finish some homework for the following week over the weekend. I just came to grab some stuff to go tot he library," a boy said, probably Lotor's roommate and partner for the project. 

"Yeah sure, Leo. We can talk about it tonight?" Lotor asked as Keith blushed and got off the floor where he had tumbled down to. 

"Yeah, I'll text you if I come up with anything today," Leo said as he closed the door. 

"By any chance, do you think Shiro would let me tag along to your doctor's appointment?" Lotor asks a still blushing Keith. 

"No, I seriously think his large truck isn't big enough for your stupidity," Keith replies as he goes to gather his stuff that got scattered around Lotor's room. 

"I seriously think you tendency for social isolation makes you really bad at clever comments," Lotor teases as he goes to change out of his pajamas. 

"Wow, making fun of the sick. How low-," Keith begins to say until he faces Lotor's bare torso, returning to his blushing face. It takes a while for Lotor to look up and see why Keith stopped talking. 

"Like what you see, Kogane?" Lotor chuckles as he poses, only to get a pillow thrown at him from where Keith is standing. "I didn't think you were like that Kogane. Last time I saw you, we always danced with our shirts off, you even let Melissa and Genoveve put you in tights and a leotard."

"Shut up," Keith said as he threw another pillow. 

"Hm, I guess prepubescent bodies weren't really up to your standard," Lotor continued, receiving a personal blow to his face from Keith's ballet shoe. "Ow," Lotor commented as he brought his hand to his nose, to alleviate the pain from the hit. 

"I can't believe I love you," Keith sighed as he continued cleaning up, making Lotor immediately perk up. 

"Did you just-?" Lotor said, making Keith freeze as he realized what he just said. 

"I-oh, shut up," Keith rolled his eyes, only making Lotor come up behind him and shower him in kisses. 

"Lotor, let me go. I swear," Keith said. 

"Nah," Lotor replied. It didn't even take a second for Lotor to yelp in pain as Keith elbowed his stomach to shove him off. 

"I think all the space in Shiro's truck has suddenly filled up," Keith said as he gathered all his stuff and walked out. 

"Love you, asshole!" Lotor yelled out as Keith closed the door, flipping him off int he process. 

 

 

As Keith got ready for his appointment he sighed as he looked in his bathroom mirror. 

"You really said that you idiot," he told himself as he ran through what happened a moment before. He didn't know why he hated the idea of loving Lotor. No, scratch that, he hated the idea of not hating the idea of loving Lotor. 

 _I'm confusing myself._ Keith thought. 

It wasn't that difficult to pinpoint the reason as to why he would not be at  _ease_ with  _loving_ someone. It was almost too easily labeled as an  _emo sob story_ , that he hated latching onto people for the fear of them leaving him.  It had been the same with his father, his aunt, and Lotor when he moved to California. 

Somewhere in Keith's mind, even though Shiro told him it was unreasonable, he would link everyone's disappearance to being his fault. His dad died on an airplane from London. He would have never traveled as much if Keith hadn't been born if his mother never died giving birth to him. His aunt maybe wouldn't of gotten in a car accident while picking up his meds, if she never took it upon herself to take care of Keith. 

And Lotor. Lotor would have never been rejected from the Royal Ballet and left for California if he hadn't taken care of Keith when he got sick. 

In a weird, and not easy to ignore way, everything that had happened was Keith's fault. That's what he thought anyway. He learned not to voice his opinion out loud though because Shiro and Lotor will go on for hours about how he is being ridiculous. Those sessions usually end in at least one person crying and yelling. 

Either way, the thoughts come in once in a while, and Keith still believes it; that maybe in a different reality where these people didn't meet him, their lives would be much better. 

_Now you really sound like an emo._

"Hey, Keith, I would really like to take a shower within the next week," Keith suddenly heard Lance's voice through the bathroom door. 

"Ah, yeah, sorry," Keith replied as he rushed to finish putting on deodorant and getting presentable before opening the door. "Good morning," Keith said as he was met with Lance, who looked like he had zoned out as he held his phone. 

"Good morning," Lance said as they exchanged places, Lance walking in and Keith walking out. "Prima-Keith, did you get the email by the way?" Lance asked as he connected his phone to the Bluetooth shower speaker, already playing songs. 

"Yeah, um, we can talk about it later?" Keith replied. 

"Yeah, yeah, just wanted to make sure that means that we can skip our scheduled practice today," Lance said, more like a statement than a question. 

"Yeah, okay. Lotor asked me to go get dinner anyways," Keith replied. 

"Oh, okay, well see you later," Lance said as he closed the door, leaving Keith to go to their dorm to get his shoes. 

It took a couple of seconds for Keith to notice what he had just said. He internally frowned as he recalled his words. 

_Lotor asked me to go get dinner anyways. Did I actually say that? Oh my god, Keith. You sound like a high schooler in love. Even though you are a high schooler, and you are in-no you're not. ew._

 "I hate this," Keith mumbled to himself as he grabbed some paperwork, his shoes, and his phone before slipping out of his room. 

Internally though, his heart fluttered as he thought of the whole situation. 

 

 

"Okay, as your loving brother, I'm only saying this out of love. What is wrong with your face? Are you sick? Why are you smiling so much? You literally have been smiling since I picked you up," Shiro said suddenly as they drove to Keith's appointment. 

"What-I don't know what you are-what?" Keith stuttered as a layer of red spread across his cheeks. He thought if he kept blushing his pale skin would permanently become red. 

"So, what happened?" Shiro asked, completely ignoring what Keith was saying. 

"Nothing happened, oh my god, just leave me alone," Keith lashed out, making Shiro's eyes widen. 

"Okay, what happened? Now you're just scaring me. First, you are smiling, then you start blushing, and then you are showing more than one emotion at a time," Shiro teased as he pulled into the parking lot of the doctor's office. 

"Shut up," Keith replied, crossing his arms. He was about to say something else until he heard a ding from his phone, indicating a text message. 

**Lotor**

Okay, I got motivated to go on a morning run, just for you ;)

hotassboyfriend.jpg

Also I found the best place for dinner tonight get ready to be blown away, also I made u something and u are going to kill me when you hear it

But you love me <3 ;)

I'm even going to go personally make reservations could u ask for a better boyfriend???

 

Keith smiled as he saw the amount of emojis that followed the text message. A shocked emoji, a peach, and then about ten more.

"Oh, so it's Lotor," Shiro said as he put the car in park.

"What-Shiro!" Keith yelled as he punched his brother. 

"I'm surprised you guys are going this fast. Remember what we talked about when you were starting secondary school, always use pro-," Shiro began to say, making Keith turn a darker shade of red. 

"Shiro, shut up. I swear we aren't-oh my god. I hate you," Keith said as he brought his hands to his face as he got out of the car. 

"You are so cute. I haven't seen you like this in a long time," Shiro continued to tease him as they walked towards the building entrance. 

"I am not-shut up. I have never been like this. I am not like anything-just-ugh," Keith rambled, flustered and ignoring all eye contact. 

"Okay, okay, sorry, you are one with an emotionless brick wall. Never to experience love or emotion. Happy?" Shiro says as they enter the office. 

"I hate you," Keith says as they make their way into the hospital's pediatrics wing. 

Once they arrive, all the nurses giggle at Keith's situation, of course after Shiro starts telling them. 

Keith swears he will kill Shiro as soon as they manage to get into the car. 

"Hey kiddo, how you been?" The doctor asks as he enters the room, the nurse that took his blood pressure giggling on her way out. 

"Fine," Keith replies, glaring at Shiro. Keith can hear the doctor laughing slightly. 

"Well the blood we took last time came back clean, you white blood cell count looks good. All the notes I have from the get-go are that you are looking a bit underweight," the doctor said. 

The good mood died down after the last comment. 

"I know the dancing community is competitive, but even the files from London have said it's something the watch," the doctor said, more the Shiro than to Keith. 

"I always tell him to eat more," Shiro jokes as he tried to make eye contact with Keith, who avoided it at all costs. 

"I'm not starving myself," Keith suddenly said. "I said it last time. I've always been underweight."

"That is true, but there is a pattern ever since your thirteenth birthday, it has gone down. Of course, it's understandable, the change all the way overseas and all that why it's gone down since last time. It's just something to watch, to continue watching. Anyways, anything been bothering you?" She asked. 

"I take care of myself," Keith said, going back to the topic. "I would never hurt myself after what happened."

"Keith," Shiro said, placing his hand on the examination table Keith was on. 

"No, it's okay Mr.Shirogane," the doctor said. "Keith, I'm not implying such a thing. I just want you to go up a bit before I see you next time, okay? I would never imply you are hurting yourself. I'm just saying that as you are healthy now, we want to keep it that way. But as I said, if nothing is going on, then I should be seeing an increase next time, okay?" 

Keith nodded. 

 

"I want a new doctor," Keith as soon as the appointment finished as they made their way to the parking lot. 

"Keith," Shiro said as he unlocked the truck. 

"What?" Keith asked, his voice on offense. 

"She has a point," Shiro admitted. 

"Wow, so not only did you tell the whole hospital about Lotor, but now you think I'm starving myself," Keith said as he slammed the door to his side shut. 

"Keith," Shiro tried to calm him down. "You know I would never be worried if there wasn't a reason. Last summer you-," Shiro began to say. 

"Oh my god. You're bringing this up again," Keith said as they started yelling at each other in the parked truck. 

"Keith, you fainted in the middle of the street! Something could have happened to you," Shiro yelled. "I am not saying it's as bad as it was then, but you can't blame me for worrying. I trust you, but I am your brother. It would be bad of me not to worry!"

"Well, you aren't just worrying! You-," Keith started saying before he was interrupted by his phone ringing. Keith frowned as he breathed and dug his hands in the seat to get his phone. 

**Lance**

He rolled his eyes as he hung up. He was about to continue arguing until it rang again. 

**Lance.**

He hung up again. 

"Keith-," Shiro said. 

"Shut up-," another ring. 

**Lance.**

"What the fuck do you want, Lance?" Keith yelled. "Sorry, sorry about that," Keith then said after noticing the sudden silence from the other end. He realized the silence wasn't because he yelled though, there was crying. 

"Lance?" Keith asked, concern filling his voice. "Are you okay? What's going on?" He then heard the phone being passed to someone else. The speaker was filled with a voice he didn't recognize. 

"Sorry, this is-Adam Williams, Mr. Williams. I'm a teacher at Voltron. We are calling because-oh god," he heard the voice say. He could hear sharp sobbing in the background and it had Keith literally on the edge of his seat. 

"Adam?" Shiro then said as he took the phone from Keith and put it on speaker. "Did something happen?"

"Shiro?" Adam could be heard and his voice sounded weak. 

"What the hell is happening? Lance?" Keith yelled, the anger from the previous argument still in the air. 

"Shiro, Keith," Adam said. "Something had happened to a student." The phone could be heard being snatched away. "Lotor got into an accident."

Those words were enough for Keith to demand someone to pass the phone to Lotor. Through his tears, he grabbed the phone and started yelling at everyone at the receiving line. 

"He's at a different hospital," Shiro said. He had pulled out his own phone, dialing Adam and rushing to the address he was sent. 

"He was out making reservations to a restaurant and there was an explosion," Adam explained. Keith sobbed harder. 

"Let me talk to him, please," he had begged, but only got rejected as he called Lance, Pidge, Jane, Diana, everyone he could possibly think of. 

"He's in a critical state at the moment."

"We were all at the beach and suddenly there's a blast heard a few streets down into the square."

"The police was everywhere."

"We saw him pulled into the ambulance."

"They are trying to reach his parents."

"They are saying the damage is bad."

"Someone said he jumped in front of a little girl."

"There's a lot of blood."

_Oh god, please. No no nononononono._

_Not you too._

_Please, not you too._

_Please oh god, please, please._

_Don't let this be happening._

 

They soon got the doctor on the phone, Shiro being listed as Lotor's emergency contact. Keith had taken the phone from Shiro, sobbing mess and everything as they drove to the hospital.

He tried, he tried so hard to speak into the phone, but the words wouldn't escape. The doctor just kept explaining how they were taking care of the situation, and Keith thought that after the number of times he had heard doctor's excuses, the hesitant and lying undertone of the doctor's voice would get easier to bear.

It didn't, and after this, it never would.

He could feel his heart aching, the same way it had when his aunt died. He had set the phone down on the cup holder and just held his hands at his mouth, trying to calm himself down.

That didn't work either and he just continued crying. Lotor had gone to the restaurant for him. He had gone because of him.

 _He might die because of me._ _Of course, the day that it all goes well this happens. Oh god, why?_

The doctor kept rambling on, but Keith still didn't listen and it seemed like Shiro wasn't even in the same reality, his eyes focused on his own phone and the directions. Keith could tell even with his cloudy eyes that Shiro was trying to stay calm for him. He kept repeating to himself how he didn't deserve Shiro's kindness, especially in this situation. It wasn't about Keith being able to cope; it was about getting to Lotor as fast as possible. 

It was about Lotor; that's what Keith told himself as he realized he had started blaming himself before realizing that Lotor might be gone. 

The small prepubescent boy who had so foolishly fallen in love with him might die. He may already be dead. 

The car just sat in silence, only the violent sound of crying piercing the tension along with the doctor and bustling noise of the hospital through the phone.


	9. /n/ lady gaga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the bed, there was a box, wrapped in red wrapping paper with a card right next to it. It wasn't anything big, the size of a book, but a little wider. He picked up the card and read the cover. 
> 
> "From A Person Who Loves and Appreciates Your Existence."
> 
> He opened it and smiled as he read the inside printed message. "Just Kidding It's Me." Below was Lotor's distinguishable, and annoyingly perfect handwriting 'I needed something with the right amount of hate so you wouldn't punch me.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote the chapter, and then I ignored it for a month but now we are here and I am deeply apologizing for not posting.  
> TW: Major angst and fluff ahead

**Dear students.**

**We are deeply sorry for having to report this to our student body. As some of you may have heard there was an accident that occurred over the weekend. There was an explosion at Vrepit Sa's Cuisine, injuring many, including some of our students. We are sorry to report the loss of some of the wonderful faces around campus, and we are deeply sorry to have to send out this email.**

**Of course, for the sake of privacy and respect for each family, information needs to be withheld. On the same note, we hold our greatest remorse for the loss of Lotor Locascio and Dean Roberts critical state. There will be memorials held on campus this week, and guidance counselors will be available at all times. We ask everyone to be respectful and realize this tragic event is not something easy to pass by.**

**Allura Altea**

**Principal of Voltron Academy of the Arts**

 

 

It had been five days since that email had been sent, and Keith had still not left his brother's apartment or his brother's bed. 

"Keith," Shiro called out, he could smell food, but his stomach just churned in disgust. He didn't want to get up, and most definitely did not want to eat. All he had been able to do was look at the email.

He scrolled through his text messages next staying away from his inbox, ignoring the ones he left unopened, the moved back to his emails. Most notably he stared at the date that was in later emails from the school and Lotor's mother, showing that today is supposed to be Lotor's funeral. 

"Keith," Shiro called out again, but this time it was closer, at the opening of the door to the room. Keith looked at him and sat up, putting his phone on the mess of pillows next to him. He had burrowed in his brother's bed for almost a whole week after it happened. Shiro refused to let Keith sleep on the couch, but after Keith kept having nightmares they went back to sleeping how they had when he first got adopted.

Back then, Shiro, after finishing the adoption and moving, messed up Keith's bed order when they moved to their new home in London. Obviously, Shiro refused to let him sleep on the couch, and Keith refused to take Shiro's bed so they had to compromise until Keith's bed came

And with Keith's obvious trust issues, mixed with his nightmares, they developed a system, Shiro on one edge and Keith on the other, separated by the "great wall of cotton", as Shiro had called it. Keith to this day doesn't like to admit how it changed to an "eroded sad excuse for a wall" after he started opening up. 

It helped though, being with his brother, being able to rant and yell and cry without worrying about the buzz of student life around him. It also meant that he got Shiro's concern and 101 dad advice. 

"I got our suits dry-cleaned," Shiro said grimly, and Keith just plopped back down on the bed. Thinking back to the memories of how he was first adopted and lived with Shiro pulled harder at Keith's already destroyed heart. It hurt, it hurt to ignore his brother and force him to watch his younger brother in pain and unresponsive. But it also hurt to be put in this same situation again. 

"I thought Aunt Harper's funeral would be the last funeral for a while," Keith managed to mumble out as he placed his hands on his eyes. 

"Keith, I know, but-," Shiro began to say. 

"I have to go. I also know that," Keith sighed as he rubbed at his face a couple of times, ignoring the stinging feeling of his nose as he was about to start crying, again. 

Slowly, but surely both brothers go ready and went into the car. Keith seemed to be in shock as he remembered the last time they were in this car, driving back. 

"Honerva has been trying to call you," Shiro said. 

"I'll see her today," Keith responded. 

There was more silence. 

"You know, Lotor had this long list of things he wanted to happen at his funeral. He told me when we were in London together before-well before I got sick again," Keith said, his voice void of emotion as he looked out the shotgun window. 

"Did he ask for Gaga, and a slideshow of memes?" Shiro asked, noticing how it made the edges of Keith's mouth go up ever so slightly. 

"He did. And it's something Honerva would never do. It's ironic how it's his funeral, but everything he ever wanted to happen, isn't going to," Keith said, in the same voice. 

"Then make it happen," Shiro said, making Keith's head perk up. 

"Honerva would kill me," Keith said. 

"It can be something separate from the funeral," Shiro said. "The traditional takes always feel so formal, make it something different, for the people that knew him."

Keith nodded as they continued in silence. 

"We're here," Shiro said as they parked the car. Keith could see all the different people outside, covered in black in the hot California weather. He saw faces from the staff, some faces he didn't recognize, some students from his classes, but most notably, people that knew Lotor in the two years he hadn't been there. 

It felt wrong. He was the person that had barged in after two years that was somehow more important than anyone attending, and it was evident in the way everyone looked at him and Shiro as they made their way onto the plot of land. 

Keith could feel the whispering, the tension in the air was sickening. He was about to rush back to the car until he saw the casket and Lotor's mother. More he heard her before he saw her. 

She was never one to show emotions, especially when they were growing up together. Even when Keith got sick, she managed to stay calm throughout, including when she let Lotor go overseas by himself to attend another school, miles, and oceans away. 

But now, she was sobbing as she stood before her son's casket. It was littered with roses and a British flag folded across. 

As Keith walked up to it, the situation was becoming more real. The memories of his father and his aunt were all coming back. That feeling, the one he hated started resurfacing with every step he took. 

The only thing that managed to ground him was Shiro's hand on his shoulder as he walked up to it. 

He didn't say much out loud when he was met with the casket, he had already said what he needed at the hospital days before. He mostly recited the same three words in various different ways in his head throughout the whole service. 

After it all, Honerva had asked him if he could gather Lotor's things in the dorms, and after dodging every possible chance at that happening, Keith fell weak to her request. 

Later he managed to escape past all the lingering questions and looks of pity back to the truck. In Shiro's truck, he decided he was going to go back to the school and do what Honerva asked. Shiro didn't say anything as they drove back and didn't ask any questions as Keith asked to go to the dorms, hair up in a messy ponytail and out of his suit. 

 

 

 

Everyone was still at the service or at the venue where the service was continuing after by the time Keith got to the dorms. It felt empty without the buzzing of students everywhere. As he made his way to Lotor's room he saw a couple of faces, but none he recognized. When he finally entered Lotor's room he saw things were already in boxes with labels on them. 

He wondered if Honerva had been there already, but he saw the messy handwriting and that was out of the question. 

_Maybe it had been his roommate. Leo?_

As he looked at the labels he managed to smile a bit. 

_Nerd Shit. Books and School. Dance._

On the bed, there was a box, wrapped in red wrapping paper with a card right next to it. It wasn't anything big, the size of a book, but a little wider. He picked up the card and read the cover. 

"From A Person Who Loves and Appreciates Your Existence."

He opened it and smiled as he read the inside printed message. "Just Kidding It's Me." Below was Lotor's distinguishable, and annoyingly perfect handwriting 'I needed something with the right amount of hate so you wouldn't punch me.'

He moved on to the actual letter part, which spanned over the rest of the inside and went onto the back. 

 

**_Dear bloody stud,_ **

**_I don't know how to write this in such a small, overpriced card. Especially, because I know you hate things like this. Today, as you will experience is going to be one of  THOSE days that you see in the movies, and by the end you are going to want to not only murder me, but gouge your own eyes out, but I will enjoy every moment of it because as we agreed this morning, you LOVE me. Now, growing up I never thought that Keith Kogane, Prima Vampire Ballerina, as they call you around these parts of town, would ever tell me he could LOVE me._ **

**_If I am being honest, I never thought that I could feel so much towards one person. From the first time I saw you, with your cuteass masks on and your socially awkward ticks, to now with your inability to admit how much you actually like the human race and your determination to take on the whole world, I love you._ **

**_Now, as we get more sentimental I need you to please continue reading and not glare at me as you read this. You are amazing. You are beautiful and handsome, and every other adjective you hate calling yourself. I know we are just some sad sophomores in high school who think they know what love means and got the world figured out, but I believe that for at least until you get tired of me, we can stay together for just a little while._ **

**_I want to be the person you tell your world to (don't tell Shiro though cause I don't want to die). I want to be your best friend even if we ever break up. I don't want you to ever feel like you are alone. I don't care if we are oceans apart, but I want to at least have these few moments where you let your walls down without being afraid of anything bad happening._ **

**_The world isn't against you. If you get sick, there are people that care about you. If you can't dance, you will find a way to be happy. If anything happens, you will get back up because you are a bloody stud that I love. Now my handwriting is getting very very small because I am running out of room, but I hope this year you are able to stop being so afraid of the bad things, that you let yourself forget all the good things that could happen if you just live. I know if you just let people know you like I know you, they would love you almost as much as I. Stop building walls, open up you asshole._ **

**_< 3 Lotor_ **

 

A teardrop made its way onto the cheap cardstock, and then another, followed by the sound of sobbing and a box falling on the floor. Keith perked up at the last sound, looking at the still wrapped box. He sat crisscrossed on the floor as he managed to hold it with his shaking hands. 

_God, I hate you._

He started to open it, pulling back the cardboard flaps as he saw more letters and an old iPod. 

He saw the dates on the letters. They were all from him from the first year Lotor had come to California. Lotor had kept them all. Keith smiled as he read through some of them. 

 

_'This bitch-ass doctor won't let me dance because apparently, you need to be able to breathe for 'elite dancing'. I am calling bs.'_

_'I think it is sad at how many maks I have now. I think I'm on a 1:1 ratio with the number of ballet shoes I have had in my lifetime.'_

_'Sorry for not writing back sooner, it's been a mess.'_

_'Sorry, it's been a busy week.'_

_'Sorry, miss you.'_

At that point, he managed to curl up into a ball as he went through them. He got to the iPod after realizing that he didn't want to cry anymore. He unwrapped the headphones from the small, old device and put them in his ears. As he clicked play, he scrolled through the list and listened. 

"You made me a mixtape," Keith realized. "You idiot," Keith said as he wiped his eyes. He got up and shoved the device in his back pocket as he looked around the room. Through the faint sniffles and the occasional blinking away his tears, he was able to finish up sorting through Lotor's things as he listened to the songs. They were surely his type of music, depressing,  but there was also various hints of Lotor, some iconic meme songs sprinkled in, along with some annoying, but undeniably good happy songs. 

 

 

 

It took about an hour and a half to finish up with everything. He planned to leave everything ready for Honerva to do her final sorting through. As he opened the door he realized that everyone was coming back from the service. He grabbed the box of letters and made his way quickly to his room and managed to lock the room. 

Keith reached to his back pocket to turn the music off and took a deep sigh as he started rewrapping the headphones around the small music player and shoving it in his pocket. He turned on his closet light, leaving the rest of the room dark, the window being covered.

He started to grab everything he needed to go to class the following week in one of his dance bags if he decided to go. That way, he wouldn't need to come back and face anyone, he would just have everything at Shiro's place. Just as he was shoving everything in haphazardly, he heard the dorm room open.

"Keith?" He heard a raspy voice call out from the room, close to the door. 

He cursed in his head as he kept quiet. 

"I can see you," the voice said, it was clearly Lance. He ignored him, hoping he would ignore him to. 

"I saw you at the burial service," Lance continued saying. "Everyone was wondering where you have been."

"It's none of their business," Keith finally answered as he continued to pack. 

"Are you going to leave the Academy?" Lance asked. 

"I don't know yet," Keith responded. He might as well answer, he has been gone for almost a week. 

"Don't leave," Lance then said, making Keith turn around to face him. 

"What? Are you going to go on and talk about what Lotor would have wanted, now? How I shouldn't be impulsive just cause someone died, just cause I lost someone?" Keith responded. He didn't know why he was being so harsh. Lance wasn't trying to be rude, he knew that, but just hearing the tone of voice he used when talking to him pissed him off. 

"No," Lance simply replied. Making Keith look at him in surprise. As he focused more on Lance, even with the dim lighting he noticed how he was crying. As he looked around the room he noticed how messy it was. There were snack wrappers everywhere, clothes piled up on their desk chair, and countless books and assignments scattered on and around the actual desk. 

It made Keith frown, but it also reminded him of himself. It was hard, losing Lotor, but he realized in that instance that it wasn't just him losing Lotor. It was his whole family that he had managed to build within the past two years that had also lost him. Not to mention, Lance had been there when the explosion happened and he knew the other person that was in the email. 

"Change," Keith said as he put on his dance shoes and turned on the lights. 

"What?" Lance said as Keith walked to the other side of the room and grabbed some sweatpants and a t-shirt for Lance to wear. 

"I said change. Hurry before more people start coming back," Keith ordered and Lance stared at him, dumbfounded as his eyes adjusted to the light being turned on. 

"Why? Where are we going?" Lance asked. 

"You will see, just change," Keith said as he started cleaning up. Lance did so, after a couple of seconds on hesitation and Keith running around trying to find an adapter. 

"Keith-," Lance said as he hung his suit on one of his closet door's hooks. 

"Shut up. I'm trying to-ah I found it," Keith said as he held up a short cable that he put into his dance bag. "Come on, you have a car, right? Well, I guess we could walk either way," Keith asked as he rushed down the stairs, ignoring the few people that had come back from the service. 

As Lance followed him, he realized where Keith was taking them both. The dance studio. 

"Where did you even get the key?" Lance asked. 

"Shiro," Keith responded as he opened it and took out the iPod he had shoved in his dance bag after changing. 

"Keith, I don't think we should be-," Lance said, but he was cut off by music. "What?" Lance asked as Keith started dancing. 

Lance looked at him as he listened. 

"Lotor wouldn't stop playing this sad song for a whole month last year," Lance said as Keith continued dancing. Lance looked at him but didn't start dancing. An idea popped into Keith's head. 

Keith went to a corner of the room and started charging for Lance. 

"Keith!" Lance yelled out as he opened up his arms as Keith leaped and Lance was forced to catch him.

"Dance," Keith said as he got out of Lance’s arms, and made him move to the beat. "For him."

And Lance did as the music kept playing, hesitant at first.

Keith continued on, listening to his own words and remembering Lotor's. 

**_"If anything happens..."_ **

The song they were dancing to ended.

**_"...you will get back up..."_ **

They both panted and smiled as they continued dancing.

**_"...because you are a bloody stud..."_ **

The faint beat of the next song starting filled the room.

**_"...that I love."_ **

It was a Lady Gaga song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i just did that.


End file.
